


Love Will Come To You

by pastlink



Series: Austenverse [1]
Category: Poets of the Fall
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Jane Austen Fusion, Alternate Universe - Pride and Prejudice Fusion, Alternate Universe - Regency, Austenverse, Everyone is bi I guess, F/M, Finns in the Regency era?, I'll add pairings and tags as they come up, M/M, MarkOlli, Multi, Slow Burn, moonlight kissed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:14:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 23,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25910431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastlink/pseuds/pastlink
Summary: Olli is a young man from a rich family, accomplished, handsome, shy, a desirable match.Marko is older, gifted with words and charisma, as of yet unmarried, from a poorer gentle family.When they meet, something sparks between them, but their friends and families, and their own doubts, might quell this newborn flame.
Relationships: Jari Salminen/Original Character, Jaska Mäkinen/Jari Salminen, Jaska Mäkinen/Olli Tukiainen, Marko Saaresto/Olli Tukiainen, Markus Kaarlonen/Original Character
Series: Austenverse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2003737
Comments: 123
Kudos: 7





	1. Rumors

**Author's Note:**

> Somewhat inspired by the Moonlight Kissed video, what with the old-timey clothes and all... Set in an AU that resembles a Jane Austen book, but with modern-ish tweaks. Let's see how this goes, shall we?

Marko was walking to the village on a bright morning, feeling the cool breeze and enjoying the exercise. The horses couldn’t be spared that day in any case, they were needed on the farm. That did not matter to him in the least, as he could take his time on the way over, enjoying the sun-drenched landscape, and listening to the sweet songs of the birds and wind rustling in the leaves. He reveled in those solitary moments, when nobody expected anything from him, no witty answer, no decorum, no proper marriage. How his mother went on about it, as he was approaching the age of thirty. She could not understand how such a fine young man as her son, from a good family, and with good looks too, had not made an appropriate match yet.

Marko himself did not worry too much about it. He led a fulfilling life, if somewhat idle. He enjoyed rambling in the countryside, visiting favorite spots to write poems, and sing along with the sweet birds and the laughing brooks. He also had to help on the farm as his family was not so well off as they could wish. There were not exactly poor, but Mrs Saaresto’s favorite wish was that Marko would meet and wed a young person of good fortune, and so pave the way to an easier life for the entire family. Marko was aware of all this, and of course wished to do right by his parents, but he did silently harbor a desire for something more. To be sure, he hoped to marry someday, but he would rather for love than money. And so his romantic soul continued to drink in all the beauty of the world around him in the meantime.

When he got to the village, he headed towards the grocer where he was to pick up an order his mother had placed. As he walked down the main street, his good friend Markus and his wife Tiina accosted him. The Kaarlonens were Marko’s closest friends, in fact Marko and Markus had grown up together and had gone to the same boarding school when youngsters. Their path had diverged some as they reached manhood, with Markus joining the navy and spending long periods at sea, making a good name and fortune for himself, eventually rising to the rank of Captain. That enabled him to officially court Miss Tiina Mikkonen, who had been faithfully waiting for him ever since their secret engagement. It made Marko dream to witness such sweet and true love, enduring the years of toil and separation, and to finally see his friends happy and fulfilled. It was what he aspired to, if he could.

“Marko, have you heard the news?” asked Tiina as she approached “The manor house family will be back for the summer, indeed I have just heard it from the housekeeper who was putting in an order for the family!”  
“That is news indeed,” answered Marko “When was the last time the Tukiainens came into the country? 3 years ago?”  
“Yes it was, and then, only the older gentleman and his shooting party. That does no good to anyone here.” Tiina wrinkled her nose, “But this time the whole family is coming, and there are a few young people, which I am excited for as it will vary our society.”

Markus smiled, “I expect Mrs Saaresto will be very pleased to hear about these rich, young people coming to the neighborhood. She might reasonably expect a marriage by next year?”  
“I do believe she will expect it. But as to myself, I think we should wait and see these young people before making any definitive plans,” Marko winked at his friends.

They talked a little more, then he went to complete his errand at the grocer, and headed back home. On the way back through the fields, he did not observe the landscape as he usually did, as he was thinking about the Tukiainens and trying to remember the children of the family. He recalled a boy and a girl, a few years younger than himself. In his memory’s eye, they were still teenagers, and he wondered how they had grown up. Well, time would inevitably tell. When he told his mother, a knowing smile spread on her lips, and she started making plans as to when it would be proper to have dinner with the Tukiainen family after they arrived. Marko humored her for a little while, then joined his father out of the farm to see if he could help.


	2. In an Unperfect World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olli arrives at the Manor House.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's meet our second main character :)

If he was being honest, Olli was relieved to be leaving town and spending the summer at their country estate. He found it rather tiring to be constantly called upon, in an ongoing flurry of activities and new acquaintances. Every day of the week he had an engagement, be it tea with a friend of his mother’s, who conveniently had a daughter or son of age; or an outing to the theater where even more people were eager to meet him and make a good impression. It had been this way ever since he’d finished his education and entered society, and Olli knew it to be the way of the world: a young person of good family and with ample fortune was someone to catch. His reserved nature shied away from the predatory tendencies of it all, yet he had no choice but to go along with it, and he tried to be pleasant to everyone. He remembered a young girl that had been thrust upon him by her crafty mother, how she had barely dared raise her fearful eyes to him, how he had to strain to hear her replies to his polite inquiries. The girl was clearly as ill-at-ease in the situation as he was, if not more so. He had persevered through his and her shyness, and for his efforts had passed a pleasant evening with her, talking and dancing. She had found him an attentive listener, and not at all the kind of man she feared, the ones who were ruthlessly chasing her as a mate and laughing cruelly when they found her wanting. Unfortunately for her mother, even though they did get along nicely, they also found they were not compatible in that way. When they parted, Olli, truly a gentleman at heart, kissed her hand and thanked her for her companionship for the evening, and she left with a blush and renewed confidence.

As the carriage turned a corner and Olli caught his first glimpse of the manor house, it brought his thoughts back to the present. Yes indeed, he would enjoy the next few months away from all the bustle. He could concentrate on the quiet things he enjoyed, like reading and playing his beloved instruments. He had struggled to find the time recently, what with the non-stop engagements. His eyes scanned the surrounding fields as he had not been to the country in years, for when he was not in town with his parents, he had been at the boarding school. He was curious to see it all again, and especially about the neighbors, because he remembered he didn’t really have any playmates apart from his sister back in the day, as they were all some years older than him and had not found it worth their while to associate with the quiet, shy boy from the manor. Of course, he was now a man, but somehow he still felt a pang of unease at facing these “grownups” again. He hoped to find them friendly, for the society in the country was not as large and varied as in town, and they would inevitably meet a few times a week.

When the carriage stopped, he went inside immediately to find his sister Sirja, but his mother had bad news for him, as they had decided to send her to the seaside along with her governess. Sirja had been sick recently, and they hoped it would do her good. Mrs Tukiainen mentioned that they planned to visit her in a few weeks’ time, so that was at least something to look forward to. As everyone around him was busy, Olli retired to the backroom where he remembered the piano to be, and sat down at the keys to pass the time until dinnertime. A few hours passed away almost in the blink of an eye as he played, and before he knew it he was called to dinner. When he sat down, his father was speaking about a neighboring family:

“Truly my dear, I’d say the Saarestos are pretty forward.” Said Mr Tukiainen “Yes indeed, they sent a servant today, on our arrival day, to ask us to dinner. I suppose they wanted to show us they are attentive and cordial, but could they not let a day pass, they must know we’d be weary from the travel, arumph!”  
“Yes, I remember the Saarestos,” answered his lady “a respectable family it is true, but having come down in the world recently if I’m to believe the local gossip. I hear the older gentleman and their only son work the farm themselves! Well, there’s no shame in honest work I suppose, but I don’t think I’d be making a mistaken assumption if I were to suggest they might wish their son and our own dear children to meet, if you get my meaning...” and with that she gave a pointed look at Olli.

Olli’s heart sank. He had hoped to escape all this while in the country and make some truer friends. And here it was again, people chasing him for his name and money. He was now dreading the moment he’d have to meet the Saarestos and their son. He imagined the hungry or desperate look on his face like he’d seen on so many others in the last few months. He lost his appetite, and when he was excused, went straight to bed, exhausted and disheartened.


	3. First Impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marko and Olli meet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awkward first steps...

Marko was sitting at his desk, facing the window, which gave him a view of the road. He had been trying to work on a poem, but his mind kept wandering off, and he kept looking out the window, expecting to see the Tukiainens' or the Kaarlonens' carriage at any moment. His mother had invited the captain and his wife so it was more of a friendly gathering, and she wished all the young people to meet and have a good time, hopefully leading to more future gatherings. It was also safe since the captain was already married, but she did not mention that last bit to anyone but her satisfied, inner-self. In the meantime, Marko was daydreaming, wondering if he would like the younger man when they met. He had learned that the sister was away, but he was more curious about Olli in any case, remembering the blonde, boyish face he had last seen, and how he sometimes looked like he might come and talk to him, but never seemed to gather the courage to do so. Olli had merely been a child in Marko’s eyes back then, and he hadn’t given it much thought. He hoped it wouldn’t be held against him now. He grinned at himself at that thought, for he did hope they would get along.

A shape coming down the lane broke him out of his reflections, and as he looked closer, he saw the Kaarlonens' carriage coming towards the house. He left the untouched piece of paper on the desk and went down the stairs to meet his friends. When the door opened chaotic happiness ensued. As the guests shuffled in, the dog begged for attention, Marko’s father boomed his greeting in a loud, jovial tone. Mrs Saaresto and Tiina were busy chatting about the latest news from the village, and Marko was trying to calm the barking dog while Markus laughed at the familiar scene.

In all the ruckus, nobody had heard another carriage arrive. Olli had stepped down and was looking in through the open door, watching the domestic chaos of good friends meeting unfold. He was slightly terrified to encroach on such a friendly party, when he himself did not know them well, but it also seemed very comfortable and inviting. As his father came around the carriage and spotted that same scene, he “arumphed” his disapproval, and stepped forward, announcing his presence with a few more exclamations. The entire party inside went silent when they heard him, except for the dog who ran out to sniff out these new people, and get some caresses if he could. Olli could not resist petting it some, and it also gave him an excuse not to face all the eyes fixated on him and his family. The proper introductions were made, and Olli was called on to perform his part. As he approached, his gaze was caught by the earnest look from two clear blue eyes looking at him intently. “So that must be the Saaresto’s son,” he thought “the one I’m presumably here to meet.” He lowered his gaze as he introduced himself to the whole gathering, but he thought he could still feel Marko’s eyes on him the whole time. He shook hands with the men, and the last one clasped him with both hands, squeezing lightly. Olli looked up and was facing Marko, who had a friendly smile on.  
“It’s nice to see you again Mr Tukiainen,” said Marko “it’s been a few years since I’ve had the pleasure. I’m Marko.”  
“Yes, indeed,” was all Olli could manage to answer.

He could not decide if the older man seemed sincere, or if he was trying to ingratiate himself with Olli. The whole party however seemed very pleasant and welcoming, so he tried to put his misgivings aside for the moment, and try to get to know them better. He remembered the Kaarlonens as well, especially Tiina who had been a good friend to his sister Sirja, and had always been nice to him. So he passed the first part of the dinner in pleasant conversation with her and giving her news about Sirja. Tiina had been concerned to learn his sister had been sick, but he reassured her that the worst was past, and she was in fact at the seaside to get stronger. The captain’s wife inquired at which seaside town Sirja was staying. She was always curious about this as she traveled to them often with her husband when he had to leave for duty.  
“She is currently in Pori,” answered Olli “my parents wanted to make sure she wasn’t over-strained while she is getting better, as might happen in a bigger town. We are planning to visit her later this summer.”  
“Oh, is that so!” exclaimed Tiina “the Captain is due to ship out of Pori next month, what a coincidence! I don’t mean to impose, but as I’ll be seeing him off, it would be a delight to see my dear friend again at the same time.”  
“I don’t see why not, I’m sure she’d be very pleased,” Olli smiled back at her.

Tiina turned to Marko, “You have been awfully quiet this evening Marko, it is quite out of character for you. You haven’t even done the polite thing to inquire after Miss Tukiainen’s health, you can’t have missed that she has been poorly.”  
“Oh, I apologize, I haven’t been playing my part,” answered he with a mischievous smile “Please instruct me as to what I should say to answer the demands of polite society. I have spent little time with polished people, you know, here on my farm in the boorish countryside,” and at that he winked, and shot a quick glance in Olli’s direction.  
“You devil!” exclaimed Tiina with a laugh, “No, I won’t presume to tell you what to do, you know exactly how to act and charm everyone if you want to. Just don’t sit there in silence, it’s unnatural and makes me uneasy.”  
“Whatever milady wishes,” Marko said with mock-seriousness, bowing his head towards Tiina.

The Kaarlonens burst out in laughter, and when his head came back up, Marko was looking at Olli to watch his reaction, as he had been doing throughout the evening, and was glad to catch an amused smile on the blond man’s lips. But then Olli saw him and looked away, his face serious again, shifting in his seat. Marko wondered at the change in attitude. He could see Olli was shy, but there seemed to be more than mere shyness at play. Marko resolved to try and get to know a bit more about the quiet man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Impressions was the original title for Pride and Prejudice. Like I said, HEAVILY inspired.


	4. Ebb and Flow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olli and Marko try to get each other's measure

After dinner, the whole party removed to the sitting room. The card table was taken out and the older generation gathered to play a game or two, while the young people sat at the other end of the room to chat some more. Olli sat quietly with his new acquaintance, listening to their comfortable chit-chat. Nothing here was forced. He could tell they truly were friends and enjoying each other’s company. That was more that could be said about the people he met in town, and he felt himself growing more at ease around them. He had caught Marko looking at him several times throughout the entire meal, but it seemed more out of curiosity and interest than any other intentions. As the young Saaresto was engaged in conversation at the present, and not looking at him, Olli took the opportunity to study him some more. He was a tall, masculine figure, and his expressive face was animated as he spoke, his hands always moving this way and that to emphasize what he was saying, his striking blue eyes sparkling as he laughed, and his rich voice resonating pleasantly in Olli’s ears. He seemed an interesting character, and Olli was thankful that he was not hanging on him, and tripping over himself to try and please him.

As he was thinking all of this, he kept staring at Marko, who must have felt his gaze, as he turned towards Olli, locking eyes with him, and breaking into a devastating smile. Olli was caught off guard and smiled back sheepishly, swallowing down a lump in his throat. Tiina’s remark from earlier came to mind “You know exactly how to act and charm everyone if you want to”. Olli could feel the truth of it right now. He swallowed again, trying to regain his composure, and turned his attention to the other two, trying to get the flow of the conversation he had missed so far.

Marko’s smile lingered on his face. Here was something promising. Rejoining the conversation, he made sure to include Olli, for he didn’t want him to slip into the background again, he truly was curious to learn more. His efforts were met with polite but cautious answers:  
“Have you been out in society long?” Marko asked.  
“About a year, I finished school last winter,” was the answer.  
“I see, and how have you been enjoying your time in town so far?” he pushed for more information.  
“It keeps one busy, to be sure,” Olli replied “and there are a lot of people to meet, always new people wanting to be noticed,” he added with a slight edge to his voice.

This caught Marko’s attention. Did Olli not want to be here? Was Marko making himself a nuisance? He looked over to Markus, who shrugged his shoulders, and made a vague comment back at Olli.

After a few moments of silence, Marko decided to go in again, not satisfied with the answer he’d gotten.  
“If society is so demanding, I suppose it could be safely assumed that you should enjoy your time in the country, where the pace is slower, and there are not so many people to remember and please,” he said seriously.  
Olli looked sharply at Marko at this.  
“Truth be told, you will find us a simple lot,” continued he “most evenings are spent in the same manner, with cards and chit-chat, and an early end. Mornings are busy, with the estates needing looking after. I hope you will not find it too dull here, in the boorish countryside,” finished Marko, echoing his earlier joke.

Olli stared at Marko a few moments more, then let a small smile creep across his face. Marko had a charming way of poking fun at his own expense. Maybe it was not as bad as his mother had hinted at, maybe Olli had overreacted. And if he did not want to spend his time completely alone, he would have to make an effort to make friends with his neighbors. So he offered the next comment:  
“I cannot fathom that there could be a dull moment here. The company might be less varied than in town, but in exchange one is able to get to know them better. And time alone is not repulsive to me, in fact I enjoy being able to spend time on my hobbies.”

As Olli finished his sentence, a booming laugh came from the card table. The jolly Mr Saaresto had apparently won at cards, and the players were getting up and dispersing across the room. Marko’s mother walked towards the young people with a kindly smile and asked if they were ready for the tea things to be brought in. After they had agreed, she addressed Olli:  
“My dear Mr Tukiainen, your mother has been telling me all about your musical talent, she praises how accomplished you are in playing all kinds of instruments. Would you indulge the company with a tune or two? I do so enjoy good music!”

Blushing, Olli agreed. He stood up and looked around the room to see where the piano might be, but he could not see one. Seeing his confusion, Marko also stood, and said,  
“I’m afraid our humble home does not boast the room for a piano, but I do have something for you to play, hold on,” and he quickly left the room. Returning a few moments later, he held a guitar in his hands, and holding it out to Olli, asked “can you play it?”  
Olli nodded as he grabbed the instrument and started to tune it. “Yes, I would even say it’s my favorite”, with that small smile of his.

He sat on a nearby stool and prepared to play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooof boy, So I've started planning some of the scenes and chapters I want to happen, and you lot better be ready, 'cause it's gonna be a loooong one 😂


	5. Deep Silence Between the Notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olli plays the guitar, capturing Marko's attention.

As Olli sat on the stool, still adjusting the strings on the guitar, Marko sat back and focused his attention on him. The boy from the manor house had grown into a handsome man, he had to admit. Not very tall and of a slight build, but he had a graceful way about him when he moved. He wore his straw-blond hair a bit longer than most, which drew attention to his defined jaw, and one’s eyes could follow a constellation of beauty marks and moles up to his grayish eyes, which were so often lowered and hidden by his translucent lashes.

Olli gave a tentative strum on the strings to check the sound, and satisfied with it, placed his fingers to play. Marko’s eyes shifted from his face to his hands, and watched as the nimble fingers moved with precision along the neck of the guitar, and picking the strings to create a melodious sound. The room was filled with the music coming from Olli and his instrument, and everyone was silent, intently listening to the truly beautiful song, some closing their eyes, others like Mrs Saaresto tapping their fingers in time. Marko sighed, he had rarely heard someone play with such talent and feeling, indeed as he watched Olli’s face while he played, he could see a range of emotions play out on the young man’s features, and the way he cradled and held the guitar made it seem like an extension of himself. This was the most open and communicative Olli had been since arriving at the Saaresto’s house, and he didn’t have to speak a single word. Marko thought he understood him perfectly, as his soul was also soaring along with the notes.  
  
Eventually the song came to an end, and as Olli was still holding the last note, the entire room erupted in praises:  
“Oh, Mr Tukiainen!” exclaimed Mrs Saaresto “oh my dear sir, how feelingly you play! Yes indeed you have stirred this old heart of mine with your beautiful song! Pray, will you play another one, I daresay everyone will agree that it would be a real treat!”  
“Quite right my dear,” smiled her husband as he clapped loudly “Quite right, the young man has a talent such as we rarely get to enjoy here! I wouldn’t mind another tune, no I wouldn’t!”

Olli graciously received their enthusiastic praise and replied that it would be a pleasure to play some more for them. He liked the frankness of his new acquaintance, and of course he was flattered. He looked around the room as he took a few moments to figure out which song he should play next and saw all the friendly faces smiling at him. His eyes stopped on Marko, who was looking back at him with an indescribable expression. Once again Olli felt suddenly exposed under the piercing gaze of the other man. He shifted in his seat, cleared his throat, and concentrated on the guitar and what he would play.

He chose a well-known song that was usually a crowd pleaser and had the satisfaction to hear his hostess voice her approbation as he played the first few chords. He gradually lost himself in the music, closing his eyes as his hands moved expertly along the stringed instrument. He moved into the next part of the song, which usually had a singing part, but he had adapted it to play by himself. It therefore surprised him when he heard a clear, deep voice join along with his music. Without looking he knew it was Marko, the baritone timbre fitting perfectly with his character. His voice was rich and nuanced, soft yet powerful, somehow reminding Olli of warm, golden honey. He continued playing with increased enjoyment, his art perfected by the addition of the skilled singer.

Marko had been watching the guitar-player intently, mesmerized by his talent and ease, and the connection he obviously had to the music. He himself felt it inside, a stirring in his heart, and a desire to be a part of it, to create something beautiful alongside Olli. He knew the song well, and people often told him he had a pleasant voice, so he confidently raised his voice to join the guitar. Still watching, he saw that Olli seemed surprised for a moment, but a few seconds later, eyes closed and the corners of his mouth rising slightly, the younger man continued playing with elevated feeling. Marko felt a connection through the music, and he sang the words from his soul, imbuing them with intention, assuming, hoping Olli spoke the same language. For the next few minutes, he was almost in a trance, giving and receiving beauty in the form of music, his whole being vibrating in time with the melody.

As the song ended, the audience once again showed their appreciation loudly for the performance had been captivating, but the two musicians did not observe them, they were caught in each other's eyes and some kind of understanding seemed to be emerging between themselves. Marko was smiling frankly at Olli, who for once did not evade his gaze, but smiled back at him fully and earnestly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter comes from the lyrics of Nightwish's song Shudder Before the Beautiful  
>  _The music of this awe_  
>  _Deep silence between the notes_  
>  _Deafens me with endless love_  
> 


	6. Clear Blue Skies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marko and his parents talk, and Marko is inspired to write a poem.

The early morning sky was still dark when Marko stepped outside, with only a hint of orange along the horizon giving light to the hushed world. The only sounds were the neighing of the horses, the clucking of the chickens and the whispering of the wind. Marko made it a point to start early, to have this moment of perfect peace to himself before the day really started. He took a few moments to admire the rising sun, breathing deeply of the fresh air. He then went inside the barn to take care of the animals.

Once the sun was higher in the sky, his father joined him. They worked wordlessly side-y-side for a while, in the comfortable companionship of those who are accustomed to working together. As usual, Marko was humming to himself as he went about his tasks, and turned around with a questioning look when he heard a chuckle from Mr Saaresto.  
“Hmhm, what a charming tune,” said he “yes my son, that was beautifully done last night, you and that young man delighted us all with your song. But then you know your mother and I always love to hear you sing.”

Only then did Marko realize he was humming the same song he had performed with Olli. The memory brought a self-conscious smile to his lips as he answered his father,  
“I suppose the melody has stayed with me, it is a song I like. And did you not think Mr Tukiainen played the guitar remarkably well?”  
“Quite remarkable indeed,” smiled the older gentleman “our young friend is a welcome addition to our circle, very talented, and very polite. Your mother was all in raptures about him after the company left, I believe he made quite the impression.”  
Marko paused, then added “Yes, my mother was ready to approve of him, indeed who would not, he the son from the manor house?”  
At this, old Mr Saaresto stopped his work and looked at his son with unusual gravity “Marko, I know your mother has been talking a lot about your prospects lately, indeed she means well. She is concerned about you and wishes you to be settled and happy. It is also a dear wish of mine. But do not let that force you onto a path you do not wish to take, nor into the arms of somebody you have not chosen for yourself.”

This serious speech coming from his father touched Marko. It was a rare occasion when his father did not laugh a matter off. “Truth be told, Papa, I liked Mr Tukiainen. He seems quiet, but I feel there is more to him than he lets on. I would... yes, I would like to know him more.”  
“Well then, by all means, serenade him until he can no longer resist. You made a good start of it yesterday,” finished Mr Saaresto with a wink and went about his work.

When he was done with the morning’s work, Marko went inside to break his fast. As he sat down at the table, Mrs Saaresto poured him a cup of coffee and started:  
“What a lovely evening we had yesterday, my dear. Mr Olli Tukiainen is everything that is charming, do not you think?” raising an eyebrow at Marko.  
“Very charming indeed Mother, and with all the praise you showered on him he might be excused for expecting _you_ to make him an offer,” replied Marko, returning the raised eyebrow at her.  
“Oh Marko, you jest! No, but I thought you two seemed to get along splendidly! How nice to have another friend in the neighborhood, is it not?” She took a bite of her toast then went on, “You should call on him sooner rather than later, show the Tukiainens the respect they are due.”  
“Of course Mother, I’ll do everything that is proper,” said he before tucking into his breakfast.

After finishing his meal and cleaning off the dirt from his morning’s duties, Marko left the house with a bag full of his writing equipment, and headed to a nearby forest. He knew of a small, secluded clearing where he could spend some hours undisturbed. It was a favorite spot of his, near a small stream, perfect to let the scope of his imagination run free. When he entered the meadow he headed toward a tree stump that he used as a table and took out his pen and paper. He had a poem that had been bubbling up in his mind he wished to write. He looked at the wide expanse of blue sky above him, dotted with wool-like clouds, and as he looked across the brook, his eyes trailed on the grazing-pasture that was slowly ripening in the sun. He could always count on the beauty of nature to give him the words he needed to express what he was thinking, and he bent down to commit it all to paper.

The words on the page spoke of clear blue skies and fields of golden wheat, of stars in constellations, of the music of the leaves in the wind, and of a beaming sun warming the earth. And in his mind’s eye these images called forth a memory of Olli smiling back at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone made an impression 😊


	7. Swaying in a Sea of Tallgrass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A meeting in the clearing.

Olli walked down the road leading away from the manor house and passed through the front gates. Try as he might, he had not been able to concentrate on the book he had picked up. His eyes kept trailing out the window with the sunshine beckoning him out. The morning air was sweet, and it felt like the entire world was waiting to be discovered. He had not been to the country in many years, but his feet remembered the paths they had run along in his childhood. He gloried in the warm light of the sun as he headed towards the main road that would lead into the village. Yet when he reached that road he found it dusty and unappealing. Looking around, the shade of the wood called to him. A walk beneath the trees would be way more comfortable and interesting.

He proceeded slowly, stepping over roots and going out of his way so as not to step on vibrant flowers. Olli felt like a guest in the forest and could not bring himself to disturb the well-appointed ornaments. As he advanced, a scared rabbit scampered away from him, and a fancy struck him to follow in the same direction. After a few more minutes, he happened upon a clearing in which tall grass swayed in the wind, and he thought he could hear a small stream on the other side. He realized he felt rather thirsty, and so stepped into the clearing to reach the water. Before he had taken many steps, he froze in place. There, in the center of the clearing where the grass parted, was Marko, lying against a tree stump. He held a sheet of paper above his head and seemed to be studying the contents of the page closely. Then catching movement out of the corner of his eye, he lowered the paper and shifted his gaze on Olli. A look of surprise appeared on his face, quickly followed by a smile.

Olli stood rooted on the spot, not knowing what to say or do. He had intruded on Marko’s privacy and felt the awkwardness of being alone with him. Before he could decide on a course of action, Marko stood up and strode forward, holding his arms out in a sweeping motion.  
“Mr Tukiainen, welcome to my humble study, where I like to retire and think important thoughts. It is sparsely furnished, yet I find I have everything I need right here. Would you like to sit?” asked Marko, motioning to the tree stump.  
Olli could see the laughter in Marko’s eyes, and loosening up some, replied “If you don’t mind, I was looking for a drink of water, I walked from my estate and am now absolutely parched.”  
“Yes, of course,” answered the other man smilingly. “I keep the freshest draught right over there. Please help yourself,” and with that sat back down with his back against the trunk.

Olli drank deeply of the cold water, and as he walked to rejoin Marko, saw that he was putting away his things, and noticed an inkpot and quill-pen. He stopped a few paces away and asked:  
“Have you been writing? It doesn’t seem very practical to do so here.”  
“Ah, but it’s not about being practical, it’s about having the space to think,” replied Marko, gesturing towards the sky. “Besides, like I mentioned, I have everything I need here, including a desk,” said he, patting the stump against which he was leaning.  
Olli nodded and dared enter Marko’s joke “And what important thoughts did you choose to immortalize today?”  
Marko’s smile widened, and chuckling he answered, “oh it’s nothing really, just a short poem about the beauty I can see in front of me.” As he spoke his eyes scanned across the meadow and ended on Olli’s face.

“Can I read it?”  
For once, it was Marko’s turn to look slightly panicked. True, the poem did not name his muse, but in his heart of hearts he felt it must be clear what the words truly meant. Yet he wondered if Olli could decipher that meaning, and what he would do if he did. He reached into his bag to retrieve the piece of paper and handed it to Olli without a word. He waited with bated breath as the gray-blue eyes moved along the words, the rest of his face hidden behind the page.

As he read, Olli thought the poem was of excellent quality. The words were simple, yet perfectly brought to life the scenes they described. He got the feeling there was a deeper meaning intertwined with the words, but wasn’t sure what it could be. Whatever it was touched him.  
“It’s superb, you have a talent with words, Mr Saaresto,” he said as he handed the paper back. He thought he caught a hint of disappointment on the poet’s face and did not know what to make of it.

In a decidedly more serious tone, Marko said, “I should go, I have to get into the village before heading back home, and I have already been gone several hours, my mother will be wanting me.” He picked up his bag and stood, then added, “You should head towards the road in a different direction, lest people think something untoward happened.”

This brought a blush to Olli’s cheeks, and even though he knew the older man was right, he thought their chat had come to an abrupt end, and could not account for it. Had he said something? He followed Marko to the edge of the clearing, and before going on his way bade him goodbye. Marko stopped and turned towards Olli and made a formal bow “A good day to you Mr Tukiainen.” As he raised his head back up, his eyes rested on Olli’s face a moment too long, then catching himself, shook his head before disappearing among the trees.

Olli was left standing there by himself, feeling lonely and confused.


	8. Open Doors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marko receives 2 invitations.

A few days later, Marko was at home playing fetch with the dog after his morning's work when he heard the sound of hooves clicking on the ground. Instead of bringing the stick back, the dog ran out to meet their visitor, who turned out to be Markus. As he disembarked from his horse, he took a minute to pat the overjoyed animal while Marko advanced towards him.

"Good day Marko!" began the Captain, "I am here on an errand. My wife wishes me to invite you to dinner tomorrow, what say you?"  
"You know I never refuse. Tiina always keeps an excellent table, and the company is without compare!" answered Marko.  
"Speaking of the company, I have just been to the manor house and have also secured Mr Olli Tukiainen's attendance," added the Captain, looking at Marko with something like expectation.  
"A very neighbourly thing to do," replied he, "and don't give me that look, it'll simply be a nice evening between acquaintances."  
Markus smirked, "You expect me to believe you are indifferent after that pretty performance at dinner the other night?"  
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," said Marko defensively, "we played a song for the company."  
"And you couldn't keep your eyes off him. Don't think I didn't notice, I know you too well, Marko. I can tell young Mr Tukiainen has caught your attention. What comes next, I cannot pretend to predict, but the least I can do is invite you both to dinner!" and with that he clapped Marko on the back, proud of his handiwork.

Marko thought it best not to reply.

**********

At the appointed time on the following day, Marko arrived at the Kaarlonen house. As he drew closer, he noticed Olli dismounting from his horse. The younger man turned towards him when he heard his approach, and made an awkwardly stiff bow towards him, mumbling something Marko assumed was a greeting. He replied courteously, and they both walked toward the front door at which the married couple stood to welcome them in.

As the meal began, the conversation was halting. Olli was clearly uncomfortable, and Marko felt he was the cause. He had left Olli quite abruptly in the forest and now berated himself for it. Yet he did not know what to say. After a while, Markus and Tiina exchanged a look, and nodding she thus began:  
"Mr Tukiainen, does your family still plan to visit poor Sirja at Pori soon?"  
He came out of his reverie "Oh yes, of course, though we haven't settled on a date yet."  
She smiled, "That is exactly what I wished to discuss. You will remember that my husband is leaving for an assignment soon, and we have just had confirmation of the date. Would you be so kind as to ask your family if it would be convenient to travel then? We could go together, and the pleasure of seeing my dear friend will lessen the pain caused by my dear Captain leaving on his ship for the next few months." She reached out and held Markus' hand as she spoke.  
"It is an excellent plan, I'm sure there will be no opposition from my parents," replied Olli with a smile, "and Sirja will be so pleased to see you again, as she has no doubt been spending much time among strangers. A friendly face will do her good."  
"It is all but settled then," answered Tiina with a satisfied look, then turning to Marko, "now I hope our making plans in front of you has not put you off. In fact, we were wondering if your father could spare you for some weeks? I know you help him a lot on the farm, but does a trip to the seaside not sound inviting?"

Marko was taken aback. He had not expected to be invited on what was primarily a family trip organized by the Tukiainen family.   
"You will stay with us of course," continued Markus, "and I think some rest and fun will do you a world of good. Plus, my poor, heartbroken wife will need our old friend to help support her spirits when I'm gone," said he, winking at Tiina.  
Stealing a glance at Olli, who was now busily inspecting his plate, Marko replied, "Well, as long as I wouldn't be imposing on the Tukiainens..."

Finally meeting his eye, Olli spoke up "It would be a pleasure to have you along Mr Saaresto, and reintroduce you to my sister. She is very fond of poetry, I'm sure you will get along."  
"But you like poetry too, do you not?" asked Marko, who though he was sure Miss Tukiainen must be lovely, was not at present concerned about getting along with _her_. "And music and reading and everything that elevates one's enjoyment and understanding of the world? I was quite taken by the way you played the guitar the other night." He stopped talking, for he felt he was saying too much.  
Olli's eyes had returned to his plate, embarrassed and touched by Marko's earnestness "Thank you, I do. If you can join us on the trip, I'll be sure to play some more if that would be agreeable to you."  
A huge grin spread across Marko's features as he replied, "That sounds delightful."

The host and hostess smiled at each other, satisfied with how things were going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tiina and Markus are the best wing-(wo)men


	9. Where the Ocean Meets the Sand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The whole party travels to Pori and meets new people.

Olli could hardly feel his legs anymore. They had left the last coaching inn over two hours ago, and were on the last stretch of their journey, and he was sick and tired of this cramped carriage. However, he thought they were nearing their destination, as he could smell salt on the air and the cries of seagulls reached his ears. Pori could not be more than an hour away. He shifted in his seat to get more comfortable, and accidentally nudged his mother's foot, waking her up from her doze. He smiled apologetically as she opened her eyes, and she returned the smile before looking out the window.  
"I believe we should arrive soon, by the look of things," said she, "and I am glad for it. I despise long journeys. But then we will meet our dear Sirja again, so it is all worth it."  
"It has been too long since I last saw her. Between ourselves, the Kaarlonens, and Mr Saaresto, we shall be a merry party!" replied Olli.  
"Yes, they are good and respectable people, and a little time among friends should finish restoring Sirja's health, I am sure," smiled Mrs Tukiainen.  
They spent the rest of the journey in companionable silence.

A short while later, the entire party was arriving at their lodgings. They were all staying in the same building, so the young people expected cozy evenings together after their ramblings along the boardwalks and beaches of the seaside town. While Pori wasn't the most fashionable spot, it was very adequate and tasteful, and had attracted a small crowd of people. They did not expect any possible moment of boredom, as there would surely be events at the assembly room, a circulating library, or even bathing machines. It was all very promising.

While their luggage was taken to their rooms, they sat in the common room to tea. Miss Tukiainen had welcomed them as soon as they had arrived and ordered the light meal to restore them after their long journey. She was a lovely creature, as blond as her brother, but not quite as reserved. One could not tell she had ever been sick. She was radiant with a bright smile and a ready laugh. It delighted her to see her friends and family again.   
"Oh Tiina! It is good to see you again, I was so glad to get your letter, and have been awaiting your arrival ever since. There is much to keep one occupied here, but it all becomes dull after a while without a friend to share it with."  
"I completely understand your meaning, many of life's pleasure lose some of their luster when my dear Captain is away," replied Tiina, looking affectionately at her husband, "but with some help from our friends, it is easier to pull through, is it not?"  
"We shall endeavor, therefore," added Marko, "to spend the best of times all together. Let us forget illness and impending departures and enjoy the present moment. Memories are waiting to be created here, I can feel it."

Everyone agreed, and after their tea, most retired for the day, exhausted by their travels.

**********

The next morning found them out on the boardwalk taking a stroll, while Sirja pointed out some places of interest. Marko had not been to the sea in many years, and it was even more breathtaking than he could remember. The skies were so open here, the horizon seemed endless, the wind was bracing, and the constant voice of the sea was like a friend whispering in his ear. He felt alive. Here was scope for imagination! Here were endless possibilities!

Enamored as he was with the scenery, he was trailing behind the main party. Olli noticed and slowed his step, allowing the older man to catch up. As he drew closer, he noticed how the wind had ruffled Olli's hair, making him seem a tad less formal than usual. They walked on in silence for a few moments, but Marko could not keep quiet, his soul was too full of everything surrounding him.  
"Is this not magnificent, Mr Tukiainen? One could spend a lifetime here, and still not know the sea and wind fully. They are ever changing. Infinite inspiration. I could sit on the sand from dawn until dusk, and watch the transformation of colours of the sun and clouds reflecting on the water like a painting. And then I would stay through the night, counting the stars with the waves singing me softly to sleep."   
His eyes sparkled as he spoke, and his voice was full of emotion. Olli could not but be infected by his passion, and a genuine smile spread across his face.  
"I cannot pretend to be able to describe it as beautifully as you do, but I do feel it." He paused, searching for words, and went on, "One feels inspired, freer, does he not?"  
"Freer. Yes, that is exactly the word. Far from our minds the toils of everyday. No, here, one can concentrate on the important things," said Marko, looking intently at Olli, who held his gaze, as he rarely did. Here were endless possibilities indeed.

They were a few paces behind their friends as they talked and had not noticed a new addition to their party. As they rejoined them, a tall, dark-haired man now stood among them.  
"Olli, there you are," began Sirja, "I believe you have already met Mr Mäkinen, have you not? Oh, and let me introduce you to Mr Saaresto. Mr Saaresto, this is Mr Jaska Mäkinen."  
The dark stranger made a formal bow "Delighted to meet you, Mr Saaresto," and turning to Olli with a smile, "Mr Tukiainen, it is a pleasure to see you again. I have had the opportunity to make your sister's acquaintance since we last met, it's always an indulgence to be able to speak of a good friend with someone who appreciates him just as much as I do," continued he, never taking his eyes off Olli.  
Olli replied politely, his usual reserve back.

The moment was shattered, and Marko was left with a distaste for the newcomer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter Jaska! A handsome, tall, mysterious gentleman 😉
> 
> The title is from The Sounds' song Midnight Sun  
>  _Waking up, with sunbeams in my eyes_  
>  _And the world outside, seems to pass me by_  
>  _Embrace the land, where the ocean meets the sand_  
>  _And emotion fades away, until you take my hand_


	10. Read You Like a Book

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marko finds a lovely poetry book. Jaska likes being the center of attention.

The young people spent the rest of the morning out, visiting a few spots of interest. After their long ramble on the boardwalk, they headed to the circulating library, located near the haberdashery. The little group dispersed around the room, each looking at different things. Marko was perusing the poetry section by himself, his eyes often directed towards the group in the novel section who did not all seem particularly interested in the books themselves. Mr and Miss Tukiainen were standing with Mr Mäkinen, who must have made a joke, as Sirja’s laugh ringed in Marko’s ears, and a smile came upon Olli’s face, but he kept focusing on a row of books. Jaska kept talking there for a little while, apparently directing some comments to Olli, which the blond man answered shortly, but he would not be be distracted. After a few unfructuous attempts, Jaska focused his attention on Sirja, who was a much more receptive audience, and they gradually moved away. As they did, Olli’s shoulders moved as if heaved a sigh, and looking up, caught Marko’s eye. He smiled, and Marko thought this invitation enough to walk over, open-book in hand.

As he drew near, he began reading a passage from the book:

 _“Bright star, would I were stedfast as thou art—_  
_Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night “_

Olli had stopped reviewing the spines of the books and was listening attentively as Marko continued reading aloud. Once again, he could hear the passion in the older man’s voice, awakened by the beauty of the words that resonated within him. It made for a captivating scene and he could not, did not want to look away. As the poem came to an end, Marko lifted his eyes to Olli. He spoke the last words softly, and closed the book. A few moments of silence ensued, both men in a bubble of their own as they considered one another. 

The bubble burst when someone made a loud exclamation from across the room. Marko looked over and spotted Markus by the door waving them over. They walked back to the group and followed to their next destination. They spent a sizeable part of the day at the park, walking, talking and people-watching.

**********

After dinner, they were all sitting together in the common room of their lodgings, along with a few other patrons. Some were playing at cards, others were reading, and some others yet were chatting together. At present, Jaska was telling an animated story to the group. The man had an undeniable gift for captivating the attention of his listeners, spicing up his narrative with funny voices, jokes, and sustained looks. Marko thought he must like the sound of his own voice, as he never seemed to stop talking. He then chuckled at himself, for he was usually the one doing the talking. He wondered if he might like the dark-haired man more, if he did not take up so much space.

For now, however, Marko was content sitting back in a comfortable plush chair, and watching the company. He noticed that Olli was, as was his usual attitude, sitting a little apart from the group, mostly quiet. He seemed to have tuned out from Jaska’s story and was looking at his shoes. Not sitting too far from him, Marko stretched out his leg and nudged Olli with his foot. The other man looked up questioningly.

“How did you enjoy our first day in Pori?” asked Marko, “It seems to me we never stopped all day!”  
“It is certainly busier than the slower pace of the country. People in towns seem to require constant entertainment.” replied Olli, “It is a good way to meet friends if you are travelling alone or in a small group.”  
“We are, however, a well-matched group I think.” said Marko, “Somehow I had not thought to meet anyone other than your sister. I now realize that was a foolish notion, as one will inevitably make new acquaintances when they travel.”  
“You refer to Mr Mäkinen. I know him from town. We attended various events together. He is well-liked by everybody, from a prominent family, and quite rich you should know.” at this, Olli raised an eyebrow at Marko, “Not the kind of person one can ignore when in society.”

As if he had heard his name, Mr Mäkinen turned to Olli and Marko, and interjected:  
“Mr Tukiainen, I need to call on your memory. Do you remember the night when old Mrs Salo attended the theater? Of course, who could forget...”

Being thus called upon, Olli joined in on the conversation, completing the gaps in the anecdote Jaska was telling. And once again, Marko was left to watch and reflect on it by himself. He wished the guest would go home already, so that their little group could be by themselves, and he could carry on a full conversation with young Mr Tukiainen. He wanted to speak to him, to get to know him more. So far all he could manage were small windows into the reserved man’s true nature. Marko felt that there was much to learn about him, and the little he knew made him suspect that even though their outward attitudes were very different, that they might in fact be similar, deep down. He remembered when he sang along to Olli’s guitar, of how Olli had entered into his joke back at the clearing, and how captivated they had been by the same poem. Yes, something linked them on a deeper level, he was sure.

Perceiving that Mr Mäkinen had taken the center of attention again, and that Olli was reclining in his chair, Marko turned to him and asked:  
“Would you step outside with me? I find the atmosphere in here a bit loud for my taste.”  
“Gladly,” smiled Olli.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JOHN KEATS  
>  _Bright star, would I were stedfast as thou art—  
>  Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night  
> And watching, with eternal lids apart,  
>  Like nature's patient, sleepless Eremite,  
> The moving waters at their priestlike task  
>  Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,  
> Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask  
>  Of snow upon the mountains and the moors—  
> No—yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,  
>  Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,  
> To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,  
>  Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,  
> Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,  
>  And so live ever—or else swoon to death._


	11. You Have Such Oceans Within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olli and Marko take a walk on the beach.

As he stepped outside, Olli took a deep breath. The cool evening air was welcome as it had been quite crowded and stuffy in the common room. One could hardly hear himself think. Out here was quieter, with just the waves and the wind unobtrusively whispering to each other.

"So, what was all that about an old Mrs Salo?" he heard a deep voice ask from behind him.  
Turning around with a smirk on his face, he answered: "It was the talk of the town for full two weeks. See, Mrs Salo is a fixture of society, if there's an event of any import, she will be there. She's an old-timey sort of person, very proper, disapproves of all new fashions." They started walking along the street as he was telling the story, "So on that particular night, there was a new play opening at the theater, and most of Helsinki's society were in attendance, including myself, Mr Mäkinen, and old Mrs Salo. At intermission, she accosted a young lady and berated her for something about her appearance that she did not approve of. The lady in question was in her first season, nobody really knew who she was. However, it turns out she was the daughter of a Duke! And the Duke was nearby when the incident happened and did not hesitate to put the old lady back in her place. It was quite the scene!" ended Olli with a laugh.

They now found themselves on the boardwalk, right by the beach. Marko was looking out towards the sea, with a smile still lingering on his face. There were a few people still walking around, going or coming from various engagements. After a few moments, he said:  
"I know it's quite dark, but would you mind if we went towards the water? I'd like to walk on the sand."

Olli nodded and was taken aback when Marko sat on the edge of the boardwalk and began unfastening his shoes.  
"What are you doing?" asked he, looking around to see if anyone was near "what if people see you!"  
"They will not, and in any case, they do not know who I am, and I do not care what they think. I want to feel the sand between my toes, and maybe even the water," answered the older man, looking up at Olli with a twinkle in his eyes. "For even though we are in a town, this here is nature, my dearest and oldest friend. I will not be a stranger." He stood up, shoes and hose in hand, and began walking away.

Olli followed Marko on the sand, shaking his head. He shouldn't be surprised, he thought, after finding him using a tree stump as a desk. Having spent his life away from the confines of genteel society, he was somewhat of a free spirit. And impossibly intriguing. After a number of steps, Olli realized he had some trouble following, and he kept sinking in the sand, whereas barefooted Marko just glided on it. He looked around and saw no one close by. Should he?

"Mr Saaresto," he called out, "please wait!" He bent and began undoing his shoes. When he stood back up, Marko was standing in front of him with a huge smile on his face.  
"Mr Tukiainen!" gasped he, "What will people think!"  
Olli walked past him with a smile, not answering. He heard Marko chuckle, then follow.

They walked for a little while in silence. The sand felt nice and cool between his toes, and it was much easier to walk. When they got closer to the water, Marko dropped his things on the ground and walked in up to his ankles. Though but a few feet away, Olli could barely make out his silhouette against the night sky. He could only really tell because some of the multitude of stars were obscured from his view. Olli himself did not dare walk into the sea at night, and so sat down next to Marko's things. He let his eyes wander across the sky, often returning to the dark shape in the water.

After some minutes, Marko walked back to join Olli on the beach, and sat next to him, and asked:  
"How well do you know the constellations?"  
"Very poorly I'm afraid" was the younger man's answer, "I know the North Star, and Ursa Major." said he pointing in the direction of said stars.  
"Well, let me teach you then." said Marko, reclining on the sand and gesturing for him to do the same.

He pointed out all the constellations he knew, gave their names, and explained their shapes and meanings to Olli. He spoke softly, just loud enough to be heard over the murmur of the waves. All was calm and quiet in the dark, and Olli was captivated. The way Marko reverently described it made Olli feel that the illuminated night sky was a greater piece of art than any painting one could find in a museum. They lay like this next to one another for a few moments in silence after the astronomy lesson had ended, each lost in their own thoughts.

Marko was the first to sit up, and he began playing with the sand, letting it slip between his fingers. As Olli sat up, the other turned to him and held out his hand, some grains spilling out. Curiously, Olli stretched out his arm, and felt the sand pouring into his palm before falling to the ground. His eyes now accustomed to the darkness, he was looking at Marko and could see him staring back at him. As the cool sand was escaping his fingers, he felt a warm hand clasping his own, and a hesitant look in his companion's eyes. His heart skipping a beat, Olli closed his fingers around the offered hand, and felt an answering squeeze and saw a sincere smile appear on Marko's lips. They sat like this he knew not how long, the only movement Marko's thumb caressing the back of Olli's hand.

Eventually, Olli heard in a barely audible whisper:  
"We should head back, they will wonder where we have disappeared to."

He nodded slowly, reluctantly letting go of Marko's hand and gathering his things before standing up. He shook the sand off of his clothes, and they started heading back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is lyrics from Nightwish's song The Poet and the Pendulum  
>  _Search for beauty, find your shore_  
>  _Try to save them all, bleed no more_  
>  _You have such ocean's within_  
>  _In the end_  
>  _I will always love you_


	12. Sail Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marko receives another invitation. The group says farewell to the Captain who leaves on duty.

Marko was lying in bed, eyes still closed with the morning sun shining on his face, enveloping his vision in red. Yet all he could picture was a handsome face on a background of shining stars. He opened his eyes, and raised his hand to eye-level, a smile creeping over his face as he remembered the tender moment he had shared with Olli the night before. How when he was pouring the sand into Olli's hand, the urge to touch him had sprung up, and before he could change his mind, closed his fingers around the other man's hand. And for a second, doubting himself, wishing he hadn't done it, scared Olli would withdraw his hand, leave. But he hadn't. Marko smiled wider as he sat up in bed and looked out the window. It was a beautiful new day, full of possibilities and promise.

**********

Marko was at the table, eating breakfast and chatting with Markus when Olli entered the room and sat down to his meal. Olli studiously avoided eye contact as he sat across the table from Marko, who greeted him, to which he received a small nod. Marko hesitated for a moment. This was not the greeting he had expected, yet as he studied Olli some more, he saw that despite refusing to look at him, the young man gave the impression of being keenly aware of his presence. Of course Olli was more reserved than himself, and he probably was somewhat embarrassed at the moment, and might be concerned of making a scene with so many people around... Well, better give him some space. There would always be a new opportunity. Marko returned his attention to his plate.

"Olli, my dear," began his mother, "I have just received a letter from our cousin in town. I told him of our little trip, and asked him if we could stop to see him soon with Sirja. Well, he replied that all of our little group was welcome, yes indeed, Mr Saaresto and Mrs Kaarlonen, he insists that you come stay in town a few days if it's agreeable to you. He mentions here," she looked down at the letter to find the detail, "ah yes, he says that there is to be a ball on the 20th, which he is sure you will all enjoy immensely!"

Miss Tukiainen, who had just entered the room, exclaimed, "Oh, do say yes Tiina! How much fun we will have in town, and a ball too!" She sat down, and continued, "And do not feel uneasy about the invitation, nor you Mr Saaresto. Our cousin Jani has a spacious house in town, where he lives alone. And so he enjoys filling it with friends and family whenever possible. We'll all be very comfortable there!"  
"Well, I don't see why not. A stay in town is always a good idea, especially when staying with friends" replied Tiina. She then turned to Marko, "Do you believe extending your absence by a few days will be much trouble?"  
"No, no, it will be fine," was the answer, "I must admit I have a curiosity to visit Helsinki. It has been many years since I've had the chance. And I can't rightly remember the last ball I've attended, I hope I will not make a fool of myself by forgetting all the dances!" laughed Marko. Turning back toward Mrs Tukiainen, he then continued, "Please be so kind as to send our acceptation and thanks to Mr...?"  
"Snellman," answered Olli, "indeed, Mr Snellman will be very pleased..." he trailed off, then said more decidedly, " _we_ are very pleased that you will join us," finished he, finally raising his eyes to Marko. The corner of his mouth raised up in a small but honest smile.  
Marko refrained from beaming his biggest smile, and returned one to Olli with a nod and a meaningful look. All they needed was time, he thought.

**********

A few days later saw them all assembled on the dock, admiring the ship Captain Kaarlonen was to embark on, and saying their farewells. They were all smiles, and even Tiina wore a brave face. Though her heart broke every time Markus left, she was incredibly proud of him and his work, and would not keep him from it. And so her smile was bright and sincere, wishing to send him off on his voyage with a lovely memory of her, and no more regret to leave that he already had.

Mr Mäkinen was part of the crowd of curious onlookers who had come to see the ship depart, and when he spotted the little group, came to join them. He gave his best wishes to the Captain, then approached Mr and Mrs Tukiainen, speaking with them for a little while. He could be heard making grand declarations about the navy and the brave sailors, and how indebted they all were to them for the protection they received from them. He had the satisfaction of his companions being in earnest agreement, but his eyes were looking for another one. When he spotted him, he excused himself and bowed, then nonchalantly made his way over.

Olli was standing with Marko and Markus, shaking hands with the Captain as he was just about to board. As Jaska approached, he bowed to the Captain who was just leaving, walking towards the ship arm-in-arm with his wife. Mr Mäkinen thus began:  
"What a brave soul your friend is, Mr Saaresto. What a credit to his profession. I'm most glad to have made his acquaintance. He and his wife are very elegant people. You must be very proud!"  
"I can hardly take credit for him, Mr Mäkinen," was Marko's answer, "Captain Kaarlonen has made his own way in the world. However I cannot but agree with you, he is the very best sort of person."  
"Indeed." Then, turning to Olli, "Mr Tukiainen, I must say the sea air has done as much good for you as for your sister. You are looking very well."  
Olli mumbled something in reply.  
"Oh, don't be coy now. You must know you appear to great advantage at the sea," continued Jaska, "it makes your hair blow in the wind and shine in the sun and attracts the attention. It certainly does mine." Lowering his voice a bit, he added "In truth, when I met your sister here, I felt I had the greatest luck in the world, knowing we'd meet again soon. After you left town, it all suddenly seemed very dull. We spent many pleasant moments there together, did we not?" 

Olli was furiously red and at an utter loss for words. Unsure of how to respond, he made a slight bow then walked over to where Sirja and his parents stood.

Marko was equally lost for words. How blatantly had Jaska flirted with Olli, right in front of him. Yet, strictly speaking, nothing improper had passed. It just stung Marko to see another openly vying for Olli's attention. He looked from where Olli stood, back at Mr Mäkinen who was still standing right by him. The dark-haired man was looking straight at him and wore a smug look. He looked Marko over, then made a deep bow, before turning away and going to stand with the family, Mrs Tukiainen smiling and engaging him in conversation as he joined them.

As Marko looked around, he now stood alone on the dock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter _was not_ inspired by The Rasmus' song Sail Away, but it did make me think of it. I used to love The Rasmus sooo much, and wrote tons of fics on their official forum back in 2004-2005? Yes, I'm that old XD
> 
> _Sail away_  
>  _It's time to leave_  
>  _Rainy days_  
>  _Are yours to keep_  
>  _Fade away_  
>  _The night is calling my name_  
>  _You will stay_  
>  _I'll sail away_


	13. Standstill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party are on their way to town, and stop at an inn.

When he was alone in his room later that day, Olli reflected on what had passed. It still brought colour to his cheeks when he thought about Mr Mäkinen's words. He could not be insensitive to them, for Mr Mäkinen was very charming and had spoken feelingly. However, he had been a bit indiscreet, and Olli felt that Mr Saaresto must have been shocked at the display. He regretted not saying anything, but at the time he was so befuddled that he did not think he could have made it any better. It did pain Olli, however, when he thought back on the evening they had spent on the beach, that Marko might think him inconstant. Olli was glad that he was coming along to town. It would give him time to reflect on his feelings and spending more time together would help make things clearer.

**********

The journey from Pori to Helsinki was longer than their first, and the party, comprising the Tukiainens, Marko, and Tiina, had split it over two days so that it would not be too strenuous. They stopped at an inn about halfway there, to sup and relax and sleep. After the meal, they gathered, as usual, in the common room to spend the evening hours. There was a piano standing in the corner of the room, and Sirja, who had heard all about the performance at the Saaresto's house, begged Olli and Marko for a song or two. They were both happy to oblige, Olli hadn't practiced since setting off on their trip and his fingers itched to play. 

As Olli sat at the instrument, Marko followed and stationed himself right next to him, so he could see the music sheet, and rested a hand on the piano. Olli selected a piece and lifted the sheet to Marko with a questioning look, and the piece being approved, he started playing. Marko was just as impressed with his talent and agility as he had been the first time, and it was a real pleasure to sing along. He kept an eye on the sheet, and as Olli was nearing the end, Marko bent slightly forward to flip the page. He was highly aware of the proximity between Olli and himself, and even felt Olli's breath on his forearm as he reached for the music sheet. With a chill running down his spine, Marko stood back up straight, holding both his hands behind his back lest he should reach out and rest one on Olli's shoulder, which he longed to do.

After a few numbers, Marko excused himself as he was getting rather thirsty, and they sat down to refreshments and chit chat. Sirja was all in raptures about their performance and was already planning for them to play again once they arrived at Mr Snellman's. She then took her turn at the instrument, and Marko sat in the chair next to Olli as they all chatted comfortably for the rest of the evening.

**********

After they had retired, Olli was in his room and realized he had left his watch downstairs. He went to retrieve it, and he was walking down the darkened hallway, he came across Marko who had just come up the stairs. They both stopped dead in their tracks, alone in the hushed corridor. Marko smiled and began:

"I'm just come up, I stayed on to look for a book, I like to read before going to sleep," he raised the book in question.  
"Oh, well, I believe I left my watch downstairs, did you happen to see it?" When Marko answered that he hadn't, Olli went on, "I should go and fetch it before it's gone."

Marko stood aside to let him pass as he stepped forward, but in the narrow corridor he still had to squeeze past him. Marko had his back to the wall, and Olli turned slightly to avoid bumping into him. For a moment, they were facing each other, mere inches away. Olli raised his eyes to Marko's face, who was absolutely motionless, but his eyes spoke volumes. For the space of a held breath, they considered one another, then Olli moved away, flying down the stairs without daring to look back. When he reached the lower floor, he was breathless, but not because he had almost run.

Upstairs, Marko was still leaning against the wall, staring at the spot where Olli had just disappeared down the stairs. Shaking his head, he smiled to himself before going to his room.


	14. Fast Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party arrives in town and are staying with the Tukiainens' cousin, Mr Snellman.

The carriages pulled up to an elegant house and came to a stop. Immediately the front door opened, and instead of seeing a domestic as one might expect, Mr Snellman himself came out to greet them. He was all smiles as the Tukiainens alighted and came to them with an outstretched hand. However, as he took Olli's offered hand, the jolly man did not only shake it, but pulled his cousin into an embrace. And instead of being shocked or mortified by the display of affection, Olli hugged him back and patted his back before letting go. Turning to Sirja, Mr Snellman also took her in his arms to welcome her, before more reservedly shaking hands with Mr and Mrs Tukiainen.  
"Aunt! Uncle! What a pleasure to see you again! Welcome." Mrs Tukiainen replied smilingly while her husband arumphed as a response.

Marko stood a little aside with Tiina, waiting to be introduced, and smiled at the scene. It was plain to see they all loved each other very much. Their host then turned towards him, and Olli followed to make the introduction:  
"Jani, may I introduce my friend Mr Marko Saaresto, and Mrs Kaarlonen. And this is my cousin, Mr Snellman."  
"Delighted to make your acquaintance," said he, shaking hands with them both as he spoke, "you are very welcome to my house, the more the merrier I always say! I do hope you will enjoy your stay, and please, make yourselves at home!" He turned towards the house with a sweeping arm motion to follow, which the entire group did.

After having settled in his room and freshened up, Marko went downstairs to explore the house before dinner time. It wasn't as big and impressive as the Tukiainen manor, but it was spacious and elegant, in a fashionable part of town. Marko's curiosity was piqued, and he took Mr Snellman's invitation to the letter, for the man seemed friendly and open. So he wandered through the many well-furnished rooms, came across a billiards table, a library, and a large comfortably appointed drawing room, in which he saw multiple instruments. He could already picture the evenings they would spend here together. 

As he was looking at a harp and tentatively plucking a string, he heard a voice behind him:  
"This harp I got especially for Miss Tukiainen, she delights in playing it." Marko turned and faced Mr Snellman, who went on, "Are you musical as well, Mr Saaresto?"  
"Well, people say I have a good voice, and I can acquit myself on the piano and guitar," answered Marko. "But I pale in comparison to your cousin, Mr Tukiainen, who amazes me every time he plays."  
"Marvelous! Yes, my cousins are quite talented, and I myself enjoy playing, so you see we will all have a lot of fun together." As he spoke, Jani sat on a sofa and motioned for Marko to do the same. "I will try to make sure we have a few evenings at home, even if there are manifold attractions to lure us out. There is nothing I like better than a not-so-quiet friends and family gathering, where one doesn't have to be so stiff the whole while, and can share his thoughts and show his feelings. I hope you won't disapprove, I know it can be trying to my uncle's nerves!" he finished, laughing.  
Marko couldn't help but laugh along, "Yes, I have heard the older Mr Tukiainen arumph his disapproval on many occasions." Jani's laughter resounded again. He knew exactly what Marko meant.

Sitting down next to him and laughing, Marko reflected that he felt quite at ease around Mr Snellman already, and he could tell they would get along swimmingly.

**********

Coming down the stairs shortly before dinner, Olli could hear bursts of laughter coming from the drawing room. Curious, he followed the voices and saw that Marko and Jani were sitting on the sofa together, having an animated conversation. Marko was telling a story, and as he spoke, Olli once again noticed how his hands were flying this way and that to emphasize what he was saying, and draw attention to certain words. It was quite mesmerizing really, almost like a dance of some sorts. And then he thought again of when Marko had held his hand, and without speaking a single word, had said so much. Yes, you could say a lot with your hands.

Coming back to the present moment, he looked over just as Jani was resting a hand on Marko's arm and left it there for a moment. Olli knew it was natural for Jani to be more physical, but for some reason his heart caught in his throat. Was it because Marko was smiling back at Jani, and made no movement to disengage? Because he knew how much a light touch could mean? Of course he did, he had touched Olli's core in this way. Yet how casual he was, sitting here close to Jani whom he had just met, and letting the other man rest his hand on him...

Marko then noticed Olli was standing in the doorway, and flashed him a bright smile, so much so that Jani also turned to see who it was. Olli cleared his throat before entering the room. Was he reading too much into this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, and here we are introduced to Jani! Rich and a little eccentric, everyone likes him! 😉
> 
> Shoutout to Illusion_and_Dream for the comment about hands communicating so much. It's something I have been trying to make clear, that so much can be said without words. Thanks for following!!


	15. Having a Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some excitement as the group is heading to an elegant ball in town.

Marko was standing near the front door, ready to go. He was wearing his best suit, his shoes were freshly shined, and his hair combed back. He was feeling weirdly nervous, like butterflies in his stomach. He hadn't attended a society ball in several years, yet could he really be so worked up about that? Pacing in the hall and trying to calm his nerves, he waited for his companions before they could all leave together. After some moments he heard footsteps above and turned to see Sirja and Tiina appear at the top of the staircase, looking very pretty in their light coloured dresses. Marko bowed and greeted them, and as he straightened up, he caught a glimpse of longish blond hair descending the stairs, and the butterflies seemed to swarm his insides. Olli was also wearing his best but had let his hair hang in their natural fashion, and Marko thought he looked remarkably well. Wiping his hands on his trousers, he went up to Olli:

"Mr Tukiainen, if I may be so bold as to ask for the first two dances?"  
"Y-yes, of course," stuttered Olli, taken aback, "I'd love to," finished he almost inaudibly, but Marko caught it, and the butterflies did another number. He didn't quite trust his voice to answer, so he simply nodded and smiled.

He turned towards the rest of the group and caught Tiina's eye who raised her eyebrows questioningly and strode forward, taking his arm and said in a confidential manner:  
"I suppose I must settle for the next two dances then?"  
Marko couldn't help smiling and answered, "Ah yes, unfortunately."  
"Tsk tsk, don't you apologize, I am glad of it." She glanced back at Olli, "Yes indeed, you should dance with him first, what would be the use of doing so with a married woman?" she winked. "Even so, as my particular friend, I expect you to dance with me at least once!"  
"It will be my honor," assured Marko, leading her out with the rest of their party.

**********

The assembly hall was already filled with elegant guests when they arrived. Every room shined brightly, and music floated among the many voices. Young debutantes were blushing and talking excitedly while their parents kept a watchful eye on them, old ladies were gossiping, gentlemen were smoking cigars in an adjoining room, dancing cards were filling up, and the atmosphere was of general giddiness.

As they came in, many people greeted Mr Snellman and the Tukiainens, who were well known in these circles. Tiina also spotted a few acquaintances and went to say hello. This left Marko free to observe his surroundings as he hung behind a little. His eyes scanned the crowd, not expecting to see anyone he knew beyond his own party, but it was interesting to look at all the fancily dressed people. He also made a mental note as to where the refreshment table stood, because he meant to dance as much as possible, and would consequently need to make a stop there, eventually. As he was thus occupied, a young man accosted him:

"I know it is not done to talk to a stranger without a proper introduction, I hope you will forgive my forwardness, but as I was standing alone but a few paces away, I thought I might as well." He smiled sheepishly, and went on when Marko gave him a brief nod, "I find it infinitely awkward to stand in a room where I know virtually nobody, wouldn't you agree?"  
Marko chuckled, "Is it that obvious?"

Before the other man could make an answer, Jani approached them:  
"Mr Saaresto, forgive me, I have been remiss in my duties, leaving you to fend for yourself!" He noticed the young man, and smiled, "Ah! Mr Salminen, it is good to see you again! It has been many months since I've had the pleasure. You disappeared quite suddenly I must say!"  
Mr Salminen quickly looked away, and Marko thought he looked uncomfortable. Jani however did not seem to notice and went on with the introduction: "I must introduce you to my new friend Mr Marko Saaresto, he is in town with the Tukiainens and Captain Kaarlonen's wife." Turning to Marko, he continued, "And this here is Mr Jari Salminen, a most promising young man who came out only this year, so we must be friendly as he does not have many acquaintances yet."  
Marko made a formal bow, "Delighted. Allow me to ask if your card is full. I am spoken for for the first two sets, but it would be my pleasure if you would dance with me later. I haven't been to a ball in a long time, and I mean to enjoy myself thoroughly!"

Mr Salminen agreed with a smile, and then the Master of Ceremonies could be heard calling the first dance. Marko excused himself and went to find Olli, the butterflies suddenly returning to torment him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we have been introduced to the full band. What a bunch of handsome, eligible young men we have here!


	16. Contre-Danse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dancing starts at the ball.

Olli was finally able to escape his parents when the Master of Ceremonies called for the dancers to assemble. He had already greeted an obscene amount of people since they'd arrived, trying his best to be pleasant to all, and at the same time noticing his own party dividing up and seeking fun elsewhere. He honestly wished he could have done the same. However, he had now gotten away and was on his way to the ballroom, a smile refusing to leave his face. Olli was very much looking forward to dancing with Marko. He had hoped to do so and had been pleasantly surprised when the older man had boldly asked him before the ball, before leaving the house even. It showed Marko absolutely wanted to be the first, and not miss his chance, and Olli felt the compliment. It was well done too, as Olli's card was now almost completely filled.

He was looking for the familiar face as he walked through the crowd, and he was so focused that he did not notice a few acquaintances who addressed him, and who thought him very rude when he passed them by without a glance. As he looked at the people taking their place on the dance floor, he spotted Marko, whose face lit up as he saw him, and came towards him with an outstretched hand. Olli took his hand, thinking back for a brief instant to a dark night on the beach, and followed his partner to their place in line.

"I'll need you to take the lead, Mr Tukiainen," said Marko in a low voice as they took their place. "I've been practicing on my own as I wouldn't want to make us look like fools, but truth be told, embarrassment is not entirely out the question," finished he with a twinkle in his eye.  
Olli let out a short laugh and assured him it would all go smoothly. He even dared a joke, "You are not the first nervous partner I've led down the line, Mr Saaresto, I can handle you."  
Marko had only time to look surprised before the musicians struck the first chord, and the entire room launched into the first dance, moving in unison. 

They did not notice, but many people were looking at them and wondering who the lucky gentleman was who had the first dance with Mr Olli Tukiainen. Nobody knew him, and when they asked for his name it did not enlighten them in the slightest. Yet he must be someone of import, having caught the most eligible bachelor in the room for that most-desired first dance. Thankfully, Olli was blissfully unaware of these predatory thoughts and comments, and was simply enjoying a dance with a partner he actually liked for once. Marko's thoughts were not entirely opposite to the general mood of the gossips, for he felt lucky to be partnered with Olli, although it never crossed his mind to "catch" him.

After a few steps, Olli began, "I'm sorry we left you behind earlier. We had to make the rounds, my mother had to make sure my sister and I were seen. There is no end to the string of people who want to attract my notice."  
As they made a turn, Marko answered, "I cannot blame them. You appear to uncommon advantage under the multitude of lights, it gives you a positive glow."  
Olli couldn't help but smile. Then he added, "I wish I was back at the village, it was all so much simpler there."  
The next step brought them closer, and Marko whispered close to his ear, "We will be soon." 

As they moved back, the way Marko was looking at Olli made him feel suddenly quite warm and he could not think of an answer. They danced silently, both keenly aware of each other, their bodies, their movements. When Marko put his hand on Olli's waist, he felt a jolt of electricity go through him. And whenever he let go of Marko's hand after having held it, he could still feel the heat radiating in his fingers. And all the while, Marko looked at him in this intense way, and Olli could only look back and wish he could let his hands travel further up his arms, his back, his neck... But where his hands could not go, his eyes did. He noticed the flush on Marko's cheeks, the muscles in his neck, the sweat on his forehead, the strand of hair falling in front of one blue eye. 

The two dances seemed to pass in an instant. Before he knew it, Olli was standing across from Marko again, out of breath and flushed, pushing his disheveled hair out of his face. They applauded the band as was required, then Marko offered him his arm:  
"I'm parched, let us get something to drink."  
Linking his arm through Marko's, Olli answered, "Gladly."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Olli gets a little bit sassy eheheh 😏


	17. As Luck Would Have It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The evening at the ball moves on.

As they made their way to the refreshment table, Marko felt like a king. He had been so caught up in the moment that he did not know whether he had danced correctly, but it did not matter in the least to him. He could not shake off the febrility that had taken him, when every few steps permitted them to stand so close he could feel the heat radiating from his partner. Marko could still feel the pressure of Olli's hand on his back as he led him down the line, and his heart thrilled when he thought back on how they had seemed to be alone in the room, like Olli couldn't see anyone but him in that moment.

Jani was standing near the refreshments with Mr Salminen and smiled as they approached:  
"Ah, that was magnificent! What a performance! I should be ashamed that I got distracted from my own partner," said he, with a sheepish smile at Jari, "but truth be told, as you went down the line, all eyes were on you two. Ah, this will be a good evening!"

Neither man made much of a response. Marko busied himself pouring punch for himself and Olli and smiling to himself, while Olli grew a deeper shade of red. Jani's smile spread wider looking between them two, but said nothing more at the moment, resuming his conversation with Mr Salminen. Marko handed Olli his cup, their fingers touching for a moment, making Olli raise his eyes to Marko's face and returning his smile. They both chuckled, somewhat embarrassed, then turned to their friends.

As they were joining in on the conversation, a familiar voice called out nearby:  
"Mr Tukiainen! I did hope to meet you here"

Marko looked over and saw the tall form of Mr Jaska Mäkinen move towards them, stopping in front of Olli and making a formal bow, all smiles as he stood back up. He stood looking at Olli for a few moments, before turning to the rest of the group:  
"And good evening to you as well, Mr Saaresto, Mr Snellman, and..." he trailed off for a moment, giving Jari a quizzical look, "Mr Salminen? It has been too long," said he smoothly, bowing his head him.  
The young man would not look directly at Mr Mäkinen, keeping his eyes downcast, and answer stiffly, "Yes, good evening, sir."

Jaska studied him a moment more, as if trying to decipher his behaviour, but after a few moments pursing his lips, he turned his attention back to Olli:  
"Mr Tukiainen, I am deadly afraid I am too late. I have been looking for you since I arrived, and I have no hope at all that your dance card could still have a vacancy. Everyone understandably wishes to have a chance to take a turn with a most desirable partner, myself included. But you see, even though I know the answer, I cannot but ask, just to make certain my doom."   
"Indeed, you are mistaken sir, my last dance is still free," was the answer.  
"Oh, can it be possible? What luck! I shall look forward to that moment all evening, envying every partner in the meanwhile, yet anticipating the pleasure we shall have on the floor together. Yes, it will close out the evening nicely, and I shall take cherished memories home with me."

Once again, Marko stood rooted there, not quite sure where to look, what to say... Mr Mäkinen certainly had a way with his words and attitude, bordering on the verge of propriety, yet never crossing the line. He could see that Olli was a bit uncomfortable, but also seemed to receive the compliment with pleasure. Marko could feel his dislike of the dark-haired man grow. Why in the devil did he have to show up here? Marko reasonably knew he could not have spent the whole evening in Olli's company, but he had hoped to spend the time in between dances with him, as Olli was clearly not fond of his other partners, but Mr Mäkinen's presence made all more complicated, vying for Olli's attention.

He was broken out of his negative thoughts by Tiina coming to claim him for the next set, all smiles and grace. He could not stay mad in her presence and passed the evening pleasantly in the end. He danced with Tiina, then kept his engagement with Mr Salminen, who turned out to be a pleasant fellow. Then Mr Snellman asked him for the Boulanger, and it was a riot! Overall, he kept his goal of dancing all evening, and did not let Mr Mäkinen get under his skin any further. He paid Olli attention when he could, but tried not to worry about it, telling himself it was only one evening, and it had started memorably for them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, I love dastardly Jaska, throwing wrenches in Marko's plan :P


	18. Calm Waters Run Deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olli reflects on the soirée's events

Olli rested his forehead against the cool glass of the carriage, looking out to the street but not seeing the darkened streets pass by. He was busy in his thoughts, thinking back about the evening at the ball. It could not have started better, and he felt a little thrill still when he thought about the dance with Marko. He smiled as he remembered how handsome the taller man had looked, and he looked at his hands, fancying he could still feel his first partner's warm touch. His mind continued playing the events of the evening, and he became more serious. It was a pity he could not have danced with Marko again, but it could not be helped. He knew he had to make the rounds, so to speak. Truth be told, he could not rightly remember most of his other dance partners, having been preoccupied not only with Marko, but Jaska as well. During the dances in between those two partners, what he could vividly remember concerned them both. 

Wherever he turned his head, he felt like he had caught Mr Mäkinen's gaze, watching him, like he could not wait his turn. Mr Mäkinen had been engaged with other people, yet it seemed he had only had eyes for him. Olli felt again a little thrill, he could not deny Mr Mäkinen was charming and handsome, and though he was pretty forward, Olli did not entirely dislike it. He was flattered by the attention, although it did embarrass him sometimes to be put on the spot like this. He also knew his parents approved of Mr Mäkinen and encouraged the connection. Of his society acquaintance, he was one whom he honestly could say he enjoyed.

He was not so satisfied, however, with everything he saw when he managed to get glimpses of Marko. He knew he could hardly hold it against him that he had enjoyed his time with other people, yet Olli could not shake the feeling. After dancing with Mrs Kaarlonen, Olli noticed Marko had stood up with Mr Salminen, which he thought had been nice since neither of them had much acquaintance at the ball. Then he had spotted Marko dancing with his cousin Jani during the Boulanger, and that's where his discomfort had started. They were having so much fun, and Olli could tell they were well-matched. They acted so easily around one another, spoke so freely. Therein lied the problem, as Olli felt he could not achieve the same level of comfort and openness, shy and considerate as he was. A free nature like Jani's was much more suited to engage his regard and affection easily, whereas Olli's reservedness must play against him, even though he felt there was some interest. He also felt he seemed unavailable, unapproachable sometimes because of his status. It must be too difficult to overcome, and Olli doubted whether he was worth the trouble in the end.

He had to admit Marko had tried to come and speak to him in between dances, when Olli was not otherwise occupied. It lifted his spirit some, and he felt bad for doubting his intentions, yet some doubt remained. And then the dance with Mr Mäkinen made Olli doubt himself. He had enjoyed it immensely and had felt much gratified by Jaska's attention throughout. He had felt _desired_ , the look he observed on his partner's face had seemed almost hungry to him. He felt a blush rise on his cheeks and ears at the thought.

He moved his thoughts in another direction and remembered he had chanced to notice his sister and Mr Salminen dancing together. He remembered Sirja's smile, and Jari's apparent attentiveness. They had seemed to enjoy each other's company, and he wondered what had transpired. He looked over at this sister, who was also caught up in her thoughts, looking out the window with a small smile playing on her lips. Was she thinking about Mr Salminen? Or something else entirely? Olli made a mental note to try to touch the subject at some point.

He was taken out of his thoughts as they pulled up at Mr Snellman's house. He stepped down from the carriage and headed inside. Everyone seemed exhausted, and they did not say much as they each headed to their rooms. But as he was stepping into his, Olli saw Marko a few doors over, looking at him with a warm expression and smile. Olli took that image to sleep with him.


	19. Change Coming On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marko and Olli are back home, and everyday life takes over.

Marko walked out of the barn, rubbing his sore shoulders. It had been a few days since his return home, and it had appeared immediately clear to him that his few weeks away had been felt. His father had not been able to do all the work by himself, and even some things he just couldn't do properly anymore in his old age. A terrible sense of guilt had overtaken Marko, for having left them to fend for themselves in this busy summertime, and having spent his time on what now seemed frivolous endeavours. His parents, though glad to have him back, never made a mention of troubles, indeed they were happy that their son had had a chance to enjoy himself, spend time with friends his own age, and maybe grow closer to a certain young man in the process. 

Nothing would satisfy Marko however, but to right what he perceived as his wrongs, and he set out to work diligently as soon as he was settled. A lot needed doing, and the sooner he would make a start, the sooner everything would be back to normal. The harvest season was also quickly approaching, and it would not do to be unprepared, that could mean the difference between a comfortable winter and a miserable one.

And so he had been hard at work on the farm for the last few days, from dawn 'til dusk. He was feeling it in his body, all his muscles were sore. He was shocked at how quickly he had lost the habit of hard work, not that he minded it, but it was somewhat harder than expected to get back into it. By evening he was so exhausted, he had no time for his usual hobbies, nor had he the energy to even go out on a walk.

Thus time passed busily at home, and he wondered when he'd next be able to see Mr Tukiainen. 

**********

Olli was called back to the present by his father harrumphing. He looked at him with an apologetic look, and dove back in to the household ledgers. Old Mr Tukiainen had taken it upon himself on their return to instruct his son on the family and estate affairs. He did not mean to die anytime soon, but it did seem like his son might be on the brink of an engagement, and now seemed like an appropriate time to get him up to speed. Mr Tukiainen also thought that Olli was a touch too much in his thoughts, too artistically inclined, and not down-to-earth enough. His mother had encouraged these tendencies, and while the old gentleman appreciated his son's musical talent at parties, he did not think it made much of a life's path. His was a more practical mind.

And so Olli had been busy learning with his father, his head spinning with numbers at time. The Tukiainens had extensive wealth and property, and he struggled to grasp it all. But he applied himself, as he did see it was important as he would one day take the helm of the family, and he meant to do his father proud. He could not help, however, almost skipping down the corridor when he was finally dismissed from his father's study at the end of the day.

He made his way to the backroom where the piano was kept, meaning to practice for awhile, and then maybe take a turn in the garden. As he entered though, he spotted his sister sitting in the room. When Sirja heard the door, her head whipped up, and Olli could see a pretty blush on her cheeks, and a letter that she swiftly hid behind her back.

"Who is that from?" inquired he with as straight a face as he could.  
She stammered "W-What do you mean?"  
"Sirja, the letter. Why are you hiding it?"  
She made no answer. Olli felt mischievous and went on thus "You know, I thought you might get some correspondance from Mr Salminen. I saw you two at the ball," her blush deepened, "and I must say he appeared smitten with you. As your older brother, I must say I approve his taste, yet I feel a duty to look out for you. Was it the passing infatuation of an evening's time, or is he more constant than that?" finished he with a raised brow.  
Sirja could not help bursting out laughing at this speech, and though her face still felt very warm, she did take the letter back from behind her, and answered "You will be pleased to learn Mr Salminen _is_ of a steadfast character. I have had two letters from him, and though I do not wish to say more at this time, I mean to keep writing to him."

Olli reached and took her hands in his, truly happy for her. They stood and went for a walk in the garden together, enjoying a nice day and a chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be going on vacation for the next few weeks, so I'm not exactly sure when I'll be able to post again. I'm gonna try to have another chapter ready before I leave though, but I can't make any promises.
> 
> I've also pretty much finalized the outline for the rest of the story. We still have _several_ chapters to go though, so don't fret :)


	20. I Want to Gaze Into Your Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally Marko has some free time and goes on a walk...

Marko was ambling under the shade of the trees, enjoying the breeze on his cheeks and the chirping of the birds above. He had finally some time to himself, having mostly brought the farm back up to speed, and the sun was shining so invitingly that he allowed himself the time off. Already he felt better, freer. He loved his parents, and did not mind the work, but these moments of solitude and liberty were a solace to him, as he could let his mind roam and his creativity flow. Without thinking about it, his feet were taking him to his meadow, and he was anticipating the pleasure of sitting down at the tree stump to write while listening to the babbling of the nearby brook.

What he did not expect however was to find someone sitting on the stump when he got there. His heart skipped a beat as he immediately recognized Olli, the longish blond hair shining in the sunlight. Olli had his back to Marko and seemed to be watching the water's flow. Marko stepped lightly toward the other man, and as he got close, spoke softly as to not startle him:  
"It is a long time since I've had the pleasure of standing in the midst of such beauty."  
Olli turned and lifted his eyes to Marko's face "Mr Saaresto. I must agree, this clearing is a magnificent spot. Though, to be completely truthful, it is not why I came here this morning. I had hoped our paths might cross, I haven't had the leisure to call since we got back."  
"Nor I," answered Marko "I had some catching up to do at home. Life doesn't wait for one when one is away, it seems," chuckled he.

Marko let his bag slip from his shoulder and sat on the ground next to the stump. Olli pointed to the bag and asked:  
"Am I keeping you from your occupation?"  
"Not at all," Marko shook his head, "I had much rather spend time with you, and fill up on inspiration." As he spoke, he never took his eyes off of Olli's face. 

Olli held his gaze for a few moments, but after a few seconds lowered his eyes to the ground. But Marko had seen enough in his features to give him hope, and he felt emboldened. He got up on his knees to be level with his companion and advanced a few inches towards him. His voice barely louder than a whisper, he said:  
"Mr Tukiainen, I feel I must say something. Since you arrived in the neighbourhood, I have greatly enjoyed our friendship. I-" he cleared his throat, "I feel as we have been growing closer, and I think you might too. There have been moments when-" he trailed off, his heart too full to finish the sentence.  
Olli had lifted his head up again, and though still silent, gave a small nod. Marko swallowed the lump in his throat and started again:  
"I look back fondly on certain memories that are precious to me. Like how your eyes seemed like two stars among the night sky when we sat on the beach." He paused. "Mr Tukiainen, I-"  
"Please call me Olli," interrupted the other, barely audible.  
"Do I dare speak out your name? I fear I will sound like a lover."  
Olli reached out and took Marko's hand in his. He brought it close to his chest and said "I'd like to hear how that sounds."

Marko could hardly breathe, afraid that if he moved too much or too suddenly, this moment would shatter and disappear. Could he really be here, was Mr Tukiainen truly speaking these words to him? Apprehensive though he was, he felt a pull towards his companion, he had to run the risk of waking up to find out if this were true. Carefully, he came closer still, and said gently: "I can barely believe you're sharing this moment with me. My dear Olli."

As he spoke, he pulled Olli's hand near him, and kissed the top of his fingers, almost questioningly. In answer, the younger man breathed out:  
"Marko, I- I-"

With his other hand, Marko reached gently out and cupped Olli's face, feeling his silky hair caress the back of his hand. Slowly, he closed the gap between them and brought their lips together. Gingerly at first, still concerned that Olli would freeze up and take off like a scared rabbit. Instead, Marko felt Olli respond, melting into the kiss and bringing his free hand to Marko's shoulder, pressing his fingers into the fabric of his jacket. Marko could feel his heart burst as his own fingers found their way to the back of Olli's neck and pulled him closer still.

After some heavenly moments, he reluctantly pulled away, and as he opened his eyes, he observed everything about Olli's face and committed it to memory: how his eyes were still closed, the small wrinkles on his forehead, the blush on his cheeks, his parted lips, slightly red and swollen. A precious moment indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
> 
> ***If you want there is a separate entry after this chapter with a bit of smut called Skies of Lust***


	21. Curveball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olli receives many visitors

As Marko walked through the gates of the Tukiainen estate, he observed a new carriage by the stables. It looked rather new and very stylish, definitely expensive. But it did not bear the Tukiainen arms, so there must be some visitors. Marko inwardly groaned at the bad timing, as he had hoped to invite Olli on a walk with him, but with visitors, he wouldn’t be able to get away. Might as well call on him in any case, it would have to suffice to sit there politely, and look at him.

Marko was shown in by a footman, who led him to the sitting room. As they approached, Marko heard a great booming laugh he thought he recognized. As he walked into the room, he immediately spotted the tall, dark frame of Mr Mäkinen standing in front of the gathered inhabitants of the house, telling a story or another to his captivated audience. As the footman announced Marko’s arrival, all turned their eyes on him, and he suddenly felt as he was intruding. But Olli was instantly on his feet and coming forward to greet him with a warm smile.

“Mr Saaresto, as you see we are quite the party today! You’ll remember Mr Jaska Mäkinen of course,” Marko and Jaska both acknowledged each other by a slight head movement, “and let me introduce you to his parents, Mr and Mrs Mäkinen.”  
“Pleased to make your acquaintance,” answered Marko, bowing to them. The older people answered politely, but took no trouble to engage him further than necessary.

Marko sat down as Jaska resumed his story, fortunately finding a chair that afforded him a good view of his object. Although Mr Mäkinen was as captivating as ever, Olli had no attention for him at the moment, giving Marko a look with raised eyebrows, as if apologizing for the turn of events. Marko answered by opening up his hands, knowing it couldn’t be avoided, callers had to be received and attended to. 

After the story had wrapped up, the young people stood up while their parents chatted, and Marko and Olli found themselves standing together for a moment, near the windows.  
“I must admit, Olli, however barbarous you might think me, that I very much wish your esteemed guests gone,” said Marko in a low voice. “I had hoped we could take a walk together.”  
“It is unfortunate timing indeed, for I wish nothing more than to go with you.” Turning back to look at the other people in the room, he sighed, “However here we are, and the Mäkinens have been invited to stay the fortnight. It may be I will find a moment to escape, but I can promise nothing, for you know my parents insist I be very proper and would frown upon me leaving our guests.”  
“Well, we must try and bear it as best we can. It is only two weeks, and I’m sure we’ll have other occasions like today and your parents are too good to deny me access to such friendly gatherings,” said Marko with a rueful smile.

As he left the house a short while later, he felt a little uneasy. It had been plain to see that Mr Mäkinen was again making advances towards Olli, although not quite as overtly as before. It was also clear that both the men’s parents were looking on with approval. Marko was secure in Olli’s affections, but still he did not like this turn of events, as there was much going against him.


	22. Liquid and Smooth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olli has a chat with his mother.

Olli came in from the garden, laughing heartily, accompanied by Jaska, with whom he’d spent the morning hours chatting and walking around the grounds. His mother, who was sitting on the sofa, observed them with a small smile playing on her lips. As Olli sat nearby, she beckoned to him:  
“Olli my dear, I wondered if you might take a walk with me on the morrow, you young people seem to be wild for the activity, and I must admit I have neglected taking my exercise of late.”

Olli agreed easily, and the group continued chatting, soon joined by their companions, the afternoon thus passed pleasantly.

********** 

After visiting some old church ruins that were somewhat of a local attraction, Olli and Mrs Tukiainen were slowly making their way back home. Olli gradually became aware that he recognized the road they were on, and sure enough, some moments later the Saaresto residence came into view. The house was not set back in an estate like the Tukiainens’, it was directly off of the road, surrounded on one side by a small but smart flower garden, the farm buildings to the back, and beyond that and to the right the vast fields where various crops and hay were grown.

Olli was puzzled as to why his mother had taken this route, as it was rather late in the morning for calling, and it was not the quickest way back. They made their way towards the house, but rather than aiming for the door, Mrs Tukiainen stopped by the fence which separated the road from the fields, scanning the horizon. Unsure what was going on, Olli came up next to her, and immediately spotted Marko in the distance, his back to them and obviously busy. He was wearing only a shirt on his top-half, which was plastered to his sweaty skin after working in the sun all morning. The collar was open and the sleeves were rolled up to allow for some freshness, and one could spot some dirt patches on them as well as at the hem. He made for a perfectly masculine picture of strength.

All of these observations were pleasantly going through Olli’s mind when his mother interrupted his musings:  
“Mr Saaresto is a fine young man, it is a pity his family have fallen on such hard times.” Olli looked sharply up at her and she continued, “I must say, it is all to his credit that he has shown such resilience. Rolling up his sleeves, as it were,” she gestured towards him, “and keeping them all afloat and respectable, if not rich nor fashionable.”

Olli did not like where this was going, but did not know what to say which wouldn’t raise suspicion. His caution was not needed as Mrs Tukiainen added:  
“I’m not blind you know, I can see you have formed an attachment with Mr Saaresto,” Olli opened his mouth to protest, but she went on, “But I can also see that your heart is not entirely untouched by Mr Mäkinen.” Olli was speechless, and could only listen.

“These past days you have spent together in his company have been beneficial I think, in understanding his character and motivations better. He has not the same sensibility as our neighbour, but he seems truly interested in you, not just your money and status, as I know you have always feared. Oh yes Olli, my dear, I see much that you think you keep hidden, I am your mother after all, and it is my purpose to watch over you. I have only ever wanted the best for you.” Looking across the field towards Marko again, she sighed, “Look well my son, look at the toil, the struggle. Is this what you want?” She let that hang in the air for several moments, as Olli looked off in the distance, frowning. After a while, she touched his arm, and they left in silence.

********** 

The pale morning light came in through the window, and Olli stared at himself in the mirror, eyes wide and tired, face blanched. He struggled with the idea through the night, knowing that whatever, _whoever_ he chose would disappoint someone dear to him, but he had come to a decision. He adjusted his cravat, and lightly slapped his cheeks to try and conjure up some colour in them, the event should be a happy one, even though he dreaded some people’s reactions. He opened the door and went down to breakfast, as ready as he would ever be to make the announcement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I apologize for my prolonged absence. I had a hard time figuring out how to make my story go where I wanted to, and I started writing other things in the meantime, and only just recently had it come together. Enjoy :)


	23. Just Get Up, Just Go On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some news travel fast

Mrs Saaresto walked into the house and closed the door behind her quietly, shooting a quick glance around to see if anyone was nearby. When she ascertained she was alone, she breathed a sigh of relief, and sat down at the kitchen table, still stunned. She took the time to organize her thoughts and calm herself down, although as she walked to the window overlooking the farmyard, her heart seized up again. She stood there a few moments, steeling herself, then walked out to greet her two men.

Marko turned with a smile when he heard her approach, but turned serious when seeing her agitated features. He went to her and put a hand on her shoulder, asking in a concerned voice if she were ill.

“Oh I am quite well, my dear, quite well. Do not fret about me.” She stopped, looking up and her courage almost failed her as she looked in her son’s earnest face. She patted him on the arm and took a step back before continuing:  
“I have just been to the village, I had to stop by the haberdasher, and I fell into talking with Mrs Turunen, you know how it is, she sees everyone and hears everything at her counter!” she laughed nervously. “Well we talked of this and that, and she told me that there were some great news soon to be announced, but that it was not such a great secret that she could not tell me…”

She had come to the crux of it, and found it difficult to go on. Marko was watching her with a frown, clearly still concerned about her state. When she spoke, it came out barely above a whisper:  
“She said that Mr Olli Tukiainen has become engaged to a Mr Jaska Mäkinen. She has heard it from the housekeeper… Oh my dear, my boy!” she cried out as Marko dropped his tools and held on to her with both hands.

He felt as if he had just been punched in the gut, and almost fell over from the impact. He could hardly believe it, but his mother’s distress at telling the news was enough to convince him it must be true. He looked around him, unsure of what to do, what to say. Say, he couldn’t say anything, for once in his life the words had been completely taken from him. No coherent thought formed in his mind, he could only feel a dizziness and nausea building in his chest. He managed to excuse himself, and after a cursory wash of hands, found his feet taking him along the road, he knew not where.

*****

Marko stood at the edge of the clearing, under the trees. His legs had carried him there as if by themselves, but would not take him any further. He could not enter this once sacred space where he had know such felicity, not now with his heart shattered into smithereens.

He looked at the tree stump, and he could even now see a short, blond figure sitting there, as if waiting for him. The babbling of the brook brought the sound of a boyish laughter to his ears. The wind caressed his cheek as a lover’s breath once did. These were scenes of the past, into which he could not step. They lived only in his memory.

Suddenly Marko noticed it was getting dark, he must have been standing there for hours. His head was splitting, his eyes were burning and his cheeks were damp. He quickly wiped them, and started back. What he could not understand was the rapid turn of events. Was he not conspiring to escape from the company with Olli but a few days ago? Olli had been so open with him, smiling, encouraging. Marko knew his parents must have exerted pressure on him, but he never thought that he would give in. Not after what had passed between them. Marko had been secure in Olli’s affection, for when the shy man had dared unveil his feelings, he had not done so lightly. It was all a puzzle to Marko, and he was in no state to untangle any of it at present.

He slipped in the house, quiet as a mouse, and went up to his bedroom unnoticed. He had not the strength to face his parents, who were no doubt disappointed for him, their well-meaning looks would be too heavy for him to bear at the moment. And so he sat on his bed, staring emptily at the wall for a long time, until he lay his tired body down, and let his confused mind drift into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 


	24. Tea and Crumpets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marko turns to a friend.

Tiina poured tea into the cups, added a sugar cube to her own, and a splash of milk to the second. She took both cups and walked back to the sofa, handing one to her guest, standing there for a few moments without being noticed until she called out:  
“Marko? Your tea.”

Marko jerked out of his reverie and turned to her with an apologetic look, and carefully took his teacup, which he held without taking a sip. Sitting down on a nearby chair, Tiina sighed and let a few more minutes pass in silence, not wanting to press him too much. She had also heard about the engagement and could hardly believe it at first, almost getting into an argument with Mrs Turunen the haberdasher. She had seen the looks, the whispers, the gestures, the blushes between them and she was convinced, no she knew that they were attached to one another, and was very disappointed in Olli for giving in to his parents. For everybody agreed it was a most advantageous match on both sides, two handsome young men from respectable families, what could be more proper? Their families must have wanted the union and pushed for it, and Olli was known for being shy and quiet, yet she had thought him steadfast enough to stand for himself and his feelings. Well, she sighed again, he was not and now what was to be done but try to comfort her friend?

She reached for a crumpet and not quite accidentally knocked Marko’s teacup so that it rattled in its saucer, once again bringing Marko back to the present.  
“I’m sorry Tiina, I’m terrible company today. Yet I could not stand being alone.”  
“Oh it is nothing, only I wish you would speak to me. Your silence spooks me, I am unused to it.”  
“Hmm, for once in my life I truly don’t know what to say. We all know the state of things, and I am shocked into silence.” He paused for a moment before adding, “I saw him but a few days ago and I was certain we understood each other.”  
Tiina raised her eyebrows in surprise, “Did you have an understanding?”  
“No, nothing binding, he is not as unworthy as that. But…” Marko faltered, turning his head to look outside and let the lump in his throat subside. After a few breaths, he took a sip of tea and went on, “I did hope we were on that path.”

Tiina smiled sadly at him, not knowing what to say. They sat on drinking their tea and eating crumpets quietly for a while. She was glad at least that he had some appetite. He surprised her by breaking the silence:  
“At least I can look forward to some peace after this whole affair is over. For when they are…” he stopped, not able to bring himself to say the word, but when on, “When they are… well rich as they will be, they are sure to live in town. The sister is well again, and the manifold attractions will entice the whole family back I am sure. The Tukiainens have been happy enough to not come here for many years. And so our little corner of the world will return to the former peace and quiet we are used to, and I will not need suffer from a constant reminder of what could have been. Nor live in apprehension of meeting him, or rather _them_ at any moment. I must confess I don’t believe myself to be equal to it.”  
“Nor do I blame you, it would be hard indeed.”

She tried to keep the conversation going, steering towards other, less painful topics, but could not draw beyond a few words from Marko, despite her best attempts. When he had done with his tea, he set the cup and saucer down, getting up and excusing himself:  
“Well I’m afraid I have been terribly dull, but I know you will forgive me, given the circumstances.”  
She nodded, “Of course, and you know you are always welcome in our house. It would be my pleasure to receive you and sit in silence everyday if it does you good.”  
“Well, I don’t know yet about doing me good, but talking with you has somewhat lifted the oppression of my spirits.” He smiled ruefully, “It is more difficult at night, when I am left with myself and in the dark I cannot control where my thoughts go. At such times it feels like all I have is my love for him.” 

Tiina grabbed his hand and squeezed it hard between her own, but he only nodded silently and went out the door. She watched him walk slowly away, his lonely figure retreating on the empty road. Her heart constricted and she hoped this picture was no omen.


	25. Choir of Cicadas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jani comes to congratulate his cousin and have a heart-to-heart.

The announcement in the papers made official what most people already knew, very properly announcing the betrothal of Mr Olli Tukiainen and Mr Jaska Mäkinen. The advertisement mentioned how both families were overjoyed and proud, and that the future looked bright for the two young men. The Mäkinens had left the day before, to get the preparations started in town, and because it was preferable not to have the engaged couple living under the same roof before the marriage took place. Jaska very prettily whispered to Olli before getting into the carriage that the separation would only serve to increase his attachment. He added that he could hardly conceive that the next time they would see each other would be at church. Olli’s confusion and brightly flushed face was all the answer he needed. Satisfied and confident, he left his bridegroom with a smile and a wave.

The following day brought a few letters of congratulations and good wishes, however the sound of a carriage pulling into the estate in the early afternoon was entirely unexpected. Soon the footman came into the drawing room and announced Mr Snellman, who strode in all smiles and made a beeline for his cousin, pulling him into a hug.  
“When I read the newspaper yesterday and saw your happy news cousin, I knew I could not only send my wishes in a poor, measly letter. This is grand news indeed and deserves a visit!”

Olli smiled embarrassedly while Jani shook his hand with great enthusiasm, then realized he had not greeted the whole family yet and did so charmingly, apologizing for his unannounced intrusion:  
“But we are family, and on this joyous occasion I knew you could not object,” and everyone confirmed they were glad to see him.

After spending some time in chit-chat and exchanging other news, Jani made a show of stretching and said:  
“No matter how comfortable I endeavour to make my carriage, traveling longer than an hour does take its toll. I feel an ache in my legs that could benefit from some exercise.” Looking at Olli, he asked, “Would you join me on a stroll, maybe we can walk to the village, I haven’t been in years!”

Shortly after they left the house and walked in silence for a while. When they were some distance away from the Tukiainen estate, Jani turned toward Olli and seemed to study him for a moment, before starting:  
“Can I be candid?” without waiting for an answer, Jani went on, “My spontaneous call is not only due to an overwhelming desire to congratulate you in person. No, rather, I feel some concern. I must admit I was taken aback when I saw the announcement of your engagement to Mr Mäkinen. I had been expecting to see an announcement any day, to be sure, but to different gentleman.” He leveled a look at Olli, raising his eyebrows in a silent question. 

Olli kept his eyes trained on the ground in front of him. He knew too well what his cousin was trying to say, and he had spent the past several days avoiding the thought, all his effort concentrated into putting up a brave front, a happy face, and concealing the turmoil within. He did not mean to break down now, and so he kept silent.

They were walking on a road that bordered a vast field, where many workers were busy gathering the hay harvest. The late summer sun was shining and the air was almost uncomfortably warm. Some women who were not employed with the hay were going from person to person, offering refreshments to the thirsty workers. Many had taken off some layers to try and cool down, which was not an uncommon sight in the countryside at this time of year. As the conversation was presently at a stalemate, both men were looking over the scenery, until Olli stopped abruptly, eyes wide and shock on his face. Jani paused and followed his gaze.

Near a cart stood a shirtless man, his skin tan and hair bleached by the sun. He was lifting bales of hay onto the cart, and the muscles of his back could be seen rippling with the effort as he worked, the sweaty skin shining in the sunlight. Having stored all the nearby bales, he took a piece of cloth from his belt and wiped his face, then accepted a cup from the refreshment women. As he drank, his features came clearly into view: it was Marko. 

Olli felt like he could swoon as a sudden wave of heat rolled over him, and he knew it was not caused by the sun. His throat felt as dry as the workers’, he was sure, and nothing could slake his thirst but what he could not have. As his eyes roamed over the half-dressed body, he could feel his face burning and his lower stomach tingle. Marko was right there, but he might as well have been half a world away. Olli was forced to face the fact that he deeply regretted his decision.

Jani looked back at Olli, who visibly swallowed a lump in his throat, closing his mouth, but unable to tear his eyes away. He spoke softly:  
“Far be it from me to wish to embarrass you cousin, and if you have made your choice and are content with it, then please disregard what I’m about to say. However, I don’t believe my eyes deceived me when last I saw you in town. Nor are they now. It is Mr Saaresto who holds your heart, is it not?”

He let that hang in the air for some moments, and when Olli did not answer and seemed to be avoiding his eye, he added:  
“Olli, be honest with yourself. It is plain enough to see right now. I’m sure Mr Mäkinen is very amiable, but I don’t think you will be content. Here is the man, handsome, honest, strong and dependable-” he could not finish as Olli cut him off.  
“You seem to like him well enough yourself,” he lashed out, feeling trapped, “why don’t you make him an offer?”  
“I know you don’t mean that. You’re angry. With the situation. With your parents. With yourself.”  
“Look at him!” Olli cried, “He’s working in the fields! He’s breaking his back to make a living!”  
“That did not seem to matter before. And Olli, excuse me for being blunt, but you have more than enough money for the both of you. I hardly think your parents would disinherit you, for even though they may prefer another union, the Saarestos are a respectable family, and Marko is a gentleman, and what’s more, a good man.”

Olli’s eyes were brimming with tears, and when he spoke his voice cracked “Well it’s too late now. The choice has been made.”

He turned and walked back the way they had come from, hanging his head. Sighing, Jani followed, and they did not see how Marko was now standing atop the cart half-filled with hay, his eyes following them silently.


	26. The Bigger the Lie, the More They Want to Believe In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another visit to the Tukiainen manor, and some surprising news!

The Tukiainen estate was becoming some kind of hub for visitors it seemed. Having stood empty for many years, it was now buzzing with activity. After that of the Mäkinens and their cousin Mr Snellman, another carriage was seen pulling into the drive of the manor. The young lady of the house was alert and stood up at the first sound of wheels on gravel and only a stern look from her mother kept her from running out the front door.

The family walked out to meet their guests in a dignified manner and just as they stepped out, the new arrivals could be seen alighting from the carriage. It was Mr Jari Salminen and his two mothers, who were all smiles as the group greeted each others then moved inside. Unlike Mr Snellman’s spontaneous arrival, they had been expected and it was plain to see that two young persons in particular had been looking forward to the visit. The guests were show to their rooms to get freshened up, but it barely took a moment before Mr Salminen was back downstairs and escorting Miss Tukiainen out into the garden for a stroll. The parents smiled indulgently at youth’s impatience and fervour.

Olli was only kept from locking himself in his room by his proper upbringing, which dictated that it would be beyond rude to do so when company was being entertained. He did, however, keep to the corner of the room and endeavoured to avoid observation, as he was still in a foul mood. He knew the purpose of the Salminens visit and though he was happy for his sister, it only served to add salt to his wound. Seeing their shy advances and subtle courtship brought back memories of whispered conversations and hidden moments in the clearing. He indulged in bittersweet remembrances while the attention was on the others.

They were all sitting together at dinner one day and chatting when something took Olli out of his reverie:  
“News of an engagement often begets another one soon thereafter.” said Mrs Tukiainen easily, both Mrs Salminens nodding sagely. 

Jari and Sirja were both blushing and while she was looking down at the table, Olli caught an uneasy glance from Jari in his direction. It puzzled him immensely and he could not account for that look in a satisfactory manner. Jari had nothing to fear from him, they were friendly acquaintances, and he could not but approve when he saw how enamored his dear sister was.

When the party removed to the drawing room, they very naturally split into two groups, with the older people near the fire, and the younger sitting together at the other end of the parlour. Jani’s genial character was useful at keeping the conversation going, for not only was Olli his usual quiet self, Jari also seemed to be in a peculiar mood, fidgeting in his seat, stealing looks at Olli and the assembled parents on the other side of the room. When even Jani’s conversation skills were drained by the uncooperativeness of his companions, a silence fell on the little group, made uneasy by the fact that Jari seemed on the verge of saying or doing something the whole while.

Finally, he cleared his throat, and shifting in his seat, thus began:  
“There is something I feel I must tell you. It sits uneasily on my conscience at this particular crossroad we all find ourselves at, and I would rather it be in the open that to have it fester and bring us all pain down the road.”  
Olli frowned, was Mr Salminen including him in what he was saying? It certainly seemed like it, especially when he took another quick look at him, before returning his eyes to the floor. What secret could he have that would end up hurting Olli?

Jari was speaking quietly, carefully:  
“You may remember, on the night of the ball, of the cold manner of my greeting with Mr Mäkinen.”

Olli did remember. Jaska had teased Jari who did not seem to take kindly to it, but Olli hadn’t taken too much notice. It was in Jaska’s character to tease and flirt and tread the line, and Olli had chalked up Jari’s reaction as one of a shy young man, much like himself. But there was more to it apparently.

“Mr Mäkinen and I had met several months prior, early in the season at one of my very early outings. You know him, how handsome and charming he is. I soon found myself smitten with him and looking forward to the next ball or play where we might meet and spend some time together.” Jari paused, looked at Olli with a contrite expression, “I apologize if I make you uneasy Mr Tukiainen. But I must speak.” He went on, slightly more confident, “I truly felt like he held me in a particular regard and everything seemed to point towards an eventual engagement. I remember happy, hopeful conversations between myself and my mothers at the prospect…” he trailed off, looking over at those ladies.

The pause stretched, making Olli shift uncomfortably in his seat and exchange a worried look with Sirja, who was anxiously listening to the story and wondering what had happened and how it would impact her.

Jari’s voice rose again but his eyes remained distant:  
“One evening we were attending a soirée at a common acquaintance’s house. I remember a talented pianoforte player which I almost completely missed because Mr Mäkinen was sitting right next to me and I could only think of him. We were standing at the back of the room and chatting between performances, and when a poet stood in front of the audience he took my hand and we slipped out the door. He seemed familiar with the house as he navigated it with no hesitation and took me to a small study, away from the crowd. It was there we kissed for the first time, I could hardly believe my happiness, and my heart thrilled. He did not stop there however and soon I felt his hands upon me. I will not lie, I enjoyed it. I let him roam free, too shy to act myself, but not wanting to stop. You may all think ill of me, but so it was. I was in love with him and felt sure we would marry, so what did it signify if we got close a little early?”

He brought his eyes back to his listeners, and witnessed the shock and confusion upon their faces. Still, he went on:  
“It was not the only occurrence. I will not dwell on the details, but Mr Mäkinen has known me carnally. We were caught by a servant of my household when he was spotted exiting my room after he was supposed to have left. My mothers then insisted upon us marrying as soon as possible, which he seemed inclined to do, until the terms of the marriage came up. It seems he was under the impression we were richer that we actually were, and could not reconcile himself with the what he deemed too small a sum. I understand he and his family had grander plans. When he left that evening, I did not see him again until the night of the ball. He did not write, he did not call. I was utterly heartbroken and unfit for society, and in any case my mothers thought it best to retire for some time. We did not know how considerate Mr Mäkinen would be of my reputation, and we also had to deal with the maid who saw him, so that no gossip would spread.”

Jari looked between them, pinching his lips and trying to read their countenance. All he could tell for sure is that they were all shocked.  
“Now I know this may diminish me in your eyes, but I could not go on as if nothing had happened. I want to be true to you, Miss Tukiainen, and hold no secrets. And as to you Mr Tukiainen, at the risk of ruining your peace, I thought you should be aware of Mr Mäkinen’s true character. You may choose whichever course seems best to you and I will not think ill of you, for I know he can be truly affectionate with those he chooses, but you can make that choice with open eyes.”

Having said his piece, Mr Salminen found he could talk no more. It was out in the open and he could only wait to receive his sentence. Had he doomed himself in their eyes and lost his chance with his beloved? 

It was Mr Snellman who spoke up:  
“What you have told us is grave indeed, and speaks loudly of Mr Mäkinen’s character. Let me assure you I place no blame on your head, many a young person has been taken in by scheming scoundrels such as him. I hope you will allow us some time to digest the information, as you can see both my cousins are lost in thought.”  
Sirja seemed to stir at this, and joined in, “Oh Mr Salminen! It is most shocking indeed, what he has done to you. But it does not change my opinion and affection for you. If anything, it shows that you have an open and loving heart, which I will endeavour to take better care of, if you’ll let me.”

A smile spread on both their faces, and Mr Salminen asked incredulously:  
“You will… will you consent to be my wife then?”  
“Yes. Yes of course I will!” and with that she rose and planted a kiss on his cheek, which drew the attention of the older people. 

The ladies smiled comfortably while old Mr Tukiainen harrumphed his disapproval at the display. Mr Snellman was clapping his hands and congratulating them noisily, and Olli smiled and squeezed his sister’s hand affectionately. When all the attention continued to be focused on the newly engaged couple, he left the room without a sound to retreat to the sanctuary of his bedchamber and think about all he had just learned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 


End file.
